Todoroki Shouto

Suicidal s/o

You were sitting on the bed, cross legged, your hair tucked behind your ear on the left side, the other side flowing freely next to your face. You were staring at the pile of the deep purple pills in front of you. There was probably about 70 of them left, just a handful maybe. Shouto was sleeping next to you, his back towards you. He was breathing in a deep, rhythmic pace. Some of his hair was covering his eyes, but you swept it aside gently, smiling at him with tears in your eyes.

"Why are you looking at him like that? He hates you anyway" the thing said from the corner it was currently occupying.

"You need to fuck off" you hissed, forcing the words from between your teeth.

"Make me, you dumb bitch. You can't do shit anyway" it grinned.

You didn't know what the fuck this thing was but it never left you alone.

"You don't need him, and he doesn't care for you, I'm the only one who actually cares about you. No one else could stand being around such an idiot, you only need me"

You didn't say anything. You believed it was true. You looked at the pills again. Why shouldn't you? What was there left that would be worth staying for? You looked at Shouto. He looked so peaceful, just sleeping, and for once without a care in the world. You wanted to be like that. You didn't want to think or feel because all you could feel was paranoia, anxiety and exhaustion. If you couldn't feel anything that makes life worth living for, why would you keep going?

"Hey you" you sniffled.

"What?"

"Will you care about me tomorrow too, even though I'm an idiot?"

"What the fuck kind of question is that? Of course, no one else will so I'll have to"

"Good" you smiled weakly.

You gathered the pills back into the bottle, and put it in your medication pouch. You sat there for a while, the tears quietly rolling down your cheeks. And that's how it was, for a long while, you crying in a dark room, feeling so alone it was crushing you.

Shouto woke up at some point and you curled up to his chest. He told you it was alright and that you'd be okay. He had no idea what you were about to do just moments before, he would never know.