Todoroki Shouto

Selfharm part 2

Trigger warnings: Mentions of suicide, self-harm, depression.

You were sitting at the ER getting your wrist glued. They didn't want to give you stitches since it wasn't absolutely necessary. The paramedics had done a few tests too and they had been really nice. The other lady even hugged you.

They had finished treating your cut and you were talking with one of the nurses. You were unbelievably tired. These emotional breakdowns caused you to want to sleep a month or two. You had almost fallen asleep while sitting in the bed but that was the moment Shouto decided to burst into the room. The nurse had said you shouldn't be left alone, so you had been forced to call someone. You had picked Shouto, since your parents were abroad. You hadn't explained why you were at the ER and you didn't really want to, so you just covered your wrist with your sleeve.

"[Name], are you okay?", he asked, while checking you all over.

"I'm fine, I just felt really bad, nothing serious.", you shrugged.

You said bye to the nurse, who seemed like she was about to say something, but you rushed Shouto out of the door before she could. You gritted your teeth as you wrist brushed against his back, but you turned it into a smile, so he wouldn't suspect anything.

You got to your place, but the walk there had been unusually quiet. It's not like Shouto was very talkative anyway, but he had been glancing at you constantly and seemed worried.

"Thanks for coming to get me. I think I'll go to sleep now.", you said and tried to usher him out the door.

"Are you sure you're okay?", he asked and grabbed your wrist.

You inhaled through your teeth and ripped your wrist from his grip, mumbling curses under your breath.

"What was the trip to the ER really about?", he asked a bit coldly.

"It's nothing... Forget it.", you muttered.

"That's not nothing. Could you please tell me what's going on?", he pleaded.

"It's nothing.", you repeated and walked to the living room of your apartment.

Shouto closed the door and followed you.

"Tell me (Name).", he said a bit more sternly.

"Tell you what? The truth?!", you shouted. "That I hurt myself again and again, and I called an ambulance because I was so scared of myself. You have no idea what it's like when you're your own worst enemy. You don't know how it feels like, when people treat you as something replaceable. You have no idea what it's like when you want to die, so you wouldn't be a problem anymore. So you wouldn't be a problem to other people..."

"(Name)..."

"You have no idea what it feels like when your own family tells you you're just a nuisance. A nobody. Someone who will never be anything because they don't even try." - you had started to cry at this point- "When everyone is telling you, "you just need to try harder" and "think positive". When the people who are supposed to love you the most, look at you with such disappointment and resentment in their eyes. Yes, you have your asshole of a father, but at least he thinks you can make something of yourself, I don't have that. All I am to my father, is a disappointment. A useless disgrace who isn't doing anything with their life."

Shouto didn't know what to say. He didn't know that you felt this way, and it terrified him. The fact that you -the person he cared the most for- thought that they were trash.

You were now sitting on the floor, leaning against the wall. Shouto seemed to get that you didn't really want anyone close to you right now, and he was sitting on the other side of the room, opposite to you. And that's how you stayed. You crying quietly, and Shouto looking at you with sad eyes.