Romantic love story

Chapter Forty-four: New Every Morning

She didn't know how early it might be, but the window was still dark when Madison crawled from bed. Terry mumbled after her, seemingly half aware that something had changed beside him. She held her breath, he slid back to a deep slumber, and she slowly made her way to the stairs. While she didn't know for certain what was on today's itinerary, she could guess.

Holding onto the banister, she took one step up, paused, and waited for the pain to come so it wouldn't have to sneak up and surprise her later. If there was going to be bad news, she wanted to get it over with now. It was hard to know what she felt, only that what her body was telling her, wasn't what it usually did after being with a man. Taking another step, she tried not to brace for something worse, but it was hard not to think it wouldn't come. After all, how could her body forget? Even when sex hadn't been the cause, during that pelvic exam in the doctor's office, there had been pain afterward. It's just the way things were. Though she'd told Terry she thought they had a chance to make this work without pain, she'd been talking in faith, and by promise, not what her life had told her was probable.

She'd done everything she could to be ready for last night, including things she hadn't done the night before. She'd waited to go to bed a full half hour after putting on the pain ointment, so the ointment was already working, and she'd felt easy enough with Terry to tell him exactly where it hurt so he could understand her better. She'd just wanted him to know, but he had listened, and made suggestions about what they could do about it, so by the time she'd closed her eyes to sleep, she was in surprisingly little pain.

Which is why she wanted to know how God would answer the rest of her prayer.

The ointment could still be working, which could explain why she felt the way she did this morning. That could be it.

Please, God, cause it to be more than that.

Tightly holding on to her prayer, she went up the staircase, hesitated, then pushed into the bedroom without pausing to think, or let herself register where she was. It wasn't until she'd safely made it to the bathroom, that she fully realized what she'd done. She'd kept her eyes open and had stared at the carpet the whole time, but she had made it through on her own. And without any awkwardness.

Hardly worth throwing a party over, but for her, it felt lightly powerful. Dazzling, and a bit scary. What other powers did she possess?

Only God knew, for He was the one Who had made that possible.

It wasn't until she was washing her hands, that once again, she realized she still felt very little pain. Not in any measurable way. While she appreciated the pain not giving her trouble, it was kind of dismaying that it could be overlooked for even a moment. She wanted to be aware of the difference, to be grateful each and every single second for that difference, not to shrug it off and go on with life as though it was no big deal. Was this her answer? In the past, she had known pain that had lasted for days, and this had not been like that. It had hurt, and now it hardly hurt at all.

The comfort of a self-hug calmed her down, and she wondered how much longer she'd have to wait before knowing for sure if the ointment had worn off.

What if this was wishful thinking, and she was deluding herself with hope? Maybe she was hurting more than she realized, and nothing she or Terry had done last night had changed a thing. One thought latched onto another, and they spiraled into fear, and a voice inside her said to pray.

Sitting on the edge of the bathtub, she did just that, and calm descended once more.

God was answering her prayer. She just had to have faith. If not this morning, then some other time, but if she held on, His answer would one day be, "Yes." If it wasn't that, already. The fact she could sit without wincing could be counted a victory right there. She didn't have her phone with her, and there wasn't a clock in the bathroom, so she didn't know how close to morning it was, but the ointment shouldn't be so strong she should feel this well-- not if it was there.