Chapter Forty-two: Fly

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As Terry parked in front of the house, the Hopkins' car pulled in behind them, with Agatha getting out and hurrying to open Maddie's door before Terry even had the chance to enjoy the fact they were home. Agatha helped Maddie out of the vehicle while being careful not to hurt her veil, as John's minivan honked to answer Terry's wave. Everyone wore smiles, for the air held a kind of energy, the kind that came without even trying.

While Agatha held Maddie's train off the ground and fussed over the dress, Terry stepped back to keep out of the way. He noted Agatha's husband tried to do the same when he asked them if he could watch TV. Before Terry could give the go-ahead, Agatha sent her husband a quick nod and shooed him inside. It seemed the poor guy wasn't needed for anything, but then, until it was time to stand in front of the camera, Terry wasn't so sure he was needed, either. With a burst of excitement, Izzy hurried over with Ms. Owens, and Terry went to watch from a safer distance beside the minivan with John.

"Don't get your clothes dirty," John called after the triplets as they ran to the swings beside the house. With a sigh, John smiled at Terry. "I'll be relieved when the family pictures are over. I don't know how long I can guarantee the girls will keep their dresses clean." John paused. "Everything okay?"

Terry nodded, looked back at the ladies as they started off for the beach with the helper Ms. Owens had brought. Though he didn't know what they were doing, he was sure they'd call him when it was time for anything important.

"Could I ask you a question?" Terry looked at John, and John waited for him to speak.

They were alone, so Terry used this chance to ask his friend something he wanted to know, something only John could answer. "In the past, when you've tried to wake me from my flashbacks, how hard was it? I'm not all there when it happens, so I'm not sure."

"It wasn't a walk in the park, but it could've been worse."

"Was I ever physical?"

"You may have struck out a few times," John shrugged, "but I didn't take it personally. You didn't know who I was, and you snapped out of it before I had to fight you."

Terry swallowed hard. "If you were Maddie, do you think I could hurt you before I realized who you were?"

"I guess it could happen. By accident. You don't have rough nights like that very often though, so try not to let it scare you. If you have a bad dream, Madison can always come to us for help."

"What if I'm not asleep when it happens?"

The question made something click inside of John-- Terry could see it by the way John looked at him; a realization of what this conversation was really about. "You're only guessing that could happen, Terry. It might not."

"But what if it does? When my foster dad abused me, it sometimes triggered flashbacks of my step-father."

"Have you told Madison any of that?"

"I told her I could have them, but I didn't go into it. She knows I was abused, though. It isn't a secret." Terry felt the breeze and tried to think. "My making her flashbacks worse is one thing, but her getting me out of them, is another."

"Then tell Madison to keep a glass of water handy. Tell her if she can't snap you out of it, then to toss the water in your face, and to use her best judgement about getting away from you until you realize it's her and not someone else. Take it easy-- your flashbacks have never lasted that long to begin with, and you've never hurt anyone."

"But what if I hurt her?"

"It'd be an accident, and I'm sure Madison would understand."

As Tim's minivan pulled up, Terry turned his back to the newcomers and prayed for wisdom. "I told her I wasn't ready, but we're going through with it, anyway." Terry shook his head. "It's crazy, but the thought of facing my abuser again doesn't scare me half as much as the thought of burdening Maddie with not only her abuser, but mine, as well. Because of me, she'll have to fight even harder. And as it turns out, maybe even me."

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