Save Me

Chapter Thirty-One

Nathan quickly took a seat while Scarlett lingered in the doorway. "You to Scar, come take a seat. Please?" Scarlett nodded her head and took a seat on a chair. 

I wasn't to sure what I wanted to say, I needed to apologize and get them to understand how sorry I was for everything that I had put them through. But I didn't know how to express the multitude of emotions I had.

"How are you Em?" Scarlett was always one to break the silence and get the conversation going, and in this moment I was eternally grateful to her for that. 

"I'm...... doing better. I'm not great yet, I'm not even close to being good. But I'm better, and I miss you guys so, so much." 

"Then why haven't you let us in to see you yet? I spend everyday thinking about you, and what I could have done to have prevented you from trying to kill yourself." A tear fell down Nathan's face as he spoke. 

"Nathan no, you've always done everything right. Since we've been together you've always supported me and pushed me to reach my goals and have loved me every second of the way.  This isn't about you, and the things that you have or haven't done. This is about me, and how my mind isn't in the right place. I wasn't ready to see you guys yet, because I know how much I've hurt you....." My voice shook as I spoke, "And I am so, so sorry for that. I never ever meant to hurt you guys or my family." 

I broke down in tears and closed my eyes, if I couldn't see them then I couldn't see the pain they're in. I felt a hand grasp mine and looked up to see Nathan.

Except it wasn't Nathan, it was Jake holding my hand. "You don't need to apologize, remember what we talked about." 

I looked over to Nate, I could see the confusion in his eyes as to why Jake was holding my hand, and he wasn't. "I know Jake," I pulled my hand away from his and walked over to sit next to Nathan. "I regret all of the pain I've caused you Nate, by committing the act I did, and not letting you see me. Please, tell me what I can do to make this any less painful for you." 

"Let me see you, please Emma." Nate grabbed both his hands in mine and pulled me close to him. "I need to see you and be close to you." 

I nodded my head as he pulled me in for a passionate, long kiss. I still felt the same passion and love I felt for him before everything with Jake happened. But I also felt guilt now, and that left a burning sensation in my stomach. 

I pulled away and got up from my spot next to Nathan, I walked over to Scarlett and pulled a chair up next to her. "Scar, I can't thank you enough for everything you ever done for me. You're my best friend and I would be so lost without you." 

"I know, I'm you're diamond in the rust! I want to be here for you in anyway that I can, okay?" 

"Okay." I gave Scarlett a quick hug and stood back up. "I have to go to group therapy now guys. I'll call you this week, and we'll set up a day that I can see both of you. I do really miss both of you guys, I've just got to work on getting myself better."

Scarlett nodded her head and stood up, "Come on Nathan, time for us to hit the road and let Emma get to therapy."

"Okay, I love you Em." Nathan walked over to me and kissed me on my forehead, as safe feeling I had come to love. 

"Bye." I waved to Scarlett and Nate as they left the room, and then flopped onto the bed. 

"You don't have group therapy right now Emma?" There goes Jake again, pipping in with his two cents. 

"I know that. But I couldn't stand looking at Nathan and not telling him that I had kissed someone else. I just need sometime for myself right now, please?"

"Emma I just want to say again how sorry I am." 

"Stop Jake. Please just go." Surprisingly Jake left, which is what I had asked for. But at this moment I wasn't sure if being alone with my thoughts was really the best idea for me.