Save Me

Chapter Twenty Five

I don't remember waking up. The doctors say I was in a drug induced coma for about a week, and that during this time hallucinations are very common. That's what seeing my mother is summed up to, a hallucination. I'm already on the psych floor, so I might as well pretend as though I'm convinced my mother is someone I can still talk to.

Brittany found me in my bedroom, Justin had called her telling her what had happened and she came over to see if I was okay. She apparently came up to my room to find that it was locked and Justin had to come break down the door. They had already called the ambulance by then, assuming the worst. The doctors pumped my stomach to get the medication out, but because the drugs had been in my system for so long they put in me in a medically induced coma, or something like that. Truthfully I hadn't been listening to anything the doctors had been saying; I couldn't believe I was back here. That it hadn't worked. I've been in the hospital for two weeks already and refuse to talk to anyone. My dad and step mom were here everyday at the start; crying over how they should have done more to help me and apologizing. Now they say they can't get as much time off work and away from home. Brittany will check up on me every know and then, but after she realized I won't talk she stopped coming by as much. Justin calls probably five times a day, but I've taken him off of my visitors list; I can't bear to see the pain in his eyes while he repeatedly asks me why. Lucas hasn't tried to come see me, Justin told me at the start it's just because "he's confused." But I know he still doesn't believe anything I said, and that he thinks I'm even more of an attention seeker now. Nathan visited me a lot while I was in the coma, at least that's what the nurses tell me. But as soon as I was allowed visitors other than family post wake up, I took him off the list; the less crying people surrounding my bed the better. Scarlett calls me and begs me to let her come see me, but every time I say no.

I've been moved to a psychiatric hospital, the doctors say they have a legal responsibility to keep me until they know I'm not a danger to myself or others. In others words lying in the bed in my little room all day, eating one meal, and not talking to anyone isn't getting me out of here any quicker. What else is there for me to do? I don't want to be here, I don't want to talk about my feelings or why I did what I did. But I also don't want to go home where everyone will talk to me as though I'm a child and treat me like a fragile little doll. There's nothing really left for me anywhere, nothing but sadness and the destruction I've already caused. So I continue to lye in my bed and stare at the wall; day in and day out, like I'm doing right now.

My room door swings open and someone walks in. "Emma, my name is Doctor Rutting. Can you turn around so we can speak please?" A male voice rang through my room as I turned from one side of my bed to the other, facing my new doctor. "Is it okay if I come in?"

I said nothing, instead I pulled my sheets closer to my mouth and laid perfectly still.

"Alright Emma, I'm going to come in and take a seat, that way we can talk." Doctor Rutting nodded to the nurse, signaling her to leave the room and close the door behind her. "Now, I've heard you haven't been very responsive," He began pulling the chair from the desk in the room next to my bed. "I know what you're dealing with is hard, I've been there myself." He pulled up the sleeves of his lab coat to reveal a faded long scar running down both of his wrists. "But talking is going to make things better, we have to tackle what you're feeling right now before we can move forward and try to get you out of here, okay?"

I looked at him for a moment, he had a nice face, a perfect jaw line and well defined cheek bones. He didn't seem very old, maybe in his early twenties. "You don't know anything. Just because you've dealt with stuff and had your own issues doesn't mean you understand me in the slightest. So why don't you stop pretending like you care and just get the hell out of here." I uttered the first words I had spoken in weeks and flipped back over to the other side of my bed, covering my head with the blanket while doing so.

"Emma, I thought we might be able to get off to a better start, but I guess not. The hard way it is then." The next thing I knew my covers were ripped off of me and I was left in the cold.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" I demanded.

"You've been here for two weeks already and haven't made any action on your own to improve. You haven't attended any therapy on your own or in a group, you haven't made any friends or even left you room other than to shower. So if you won't put effort into getting yourself better I guess I will. Now get your ass out of bed and come with me."

"What kind of doctor are you treating parents this way?" I flung myself up to face him and crossed my arms.

"Technically I'm not a doctor," He admitted. "I usually introduce myself as a doctor because it gains me immediate respect, and then I confine in patients as to who I really am. Think of me as more of a personal trainer of sorts, I'm going to motivate you to get better. I'll be here with you every step of the way. My name is Jake Rutting by the way."

I sat stunned, there was no way in hell I was about to trust this guy to be my "personal trainer". He was probably another crazy who had escaped from his room and was playing doctor. "I don't know what idea you've got in your head but I won't be taking part, thanks."

"You see that's not really an option. Because you're still a minor your parents get final say in whats going on, and they decided this is whats best for you. So get dressed and meet me out in the hallway in five." Jake walked out of the room with a pep in his step and closed the door behind him. What options did I have at this point, not a hell of a lot. I was stuck here one way or another, and the only way I'm getting out is by proving to my doctors I'm not longer a threat to myself or anyone else. The number on thing on my list of things to accomplish right now is getting out of here. So I figure I better fake it until I make it, and the best way to do that is to go along with what this maniac Jake has to say.

"Two more minutes!" Jake yelled from outside of my room.

I pushed myself off of my bed and threw some clothing on. We were barley allowed anything in this place and makeup was definitely not one of them, so I guess I was going to have to go bare faced. I flung my door open to see Jake leaning against the wall.

"Perfect timing." He smiled to me, I have to admit he has a devilishly handsome smile. But it didn't matter because I still had Nathan on my mind and had already decided I didn't like this new guy.

"What are we doing now?" I grumbled under my breath.

"We're headed to group therapy for an hour, come on."

And just like that we were off.