The Little Winston

Chapter 39- I Lose My Family

It was about a month after I got my casts off, and we were all sitting in the living room playing truth or dare. Dallas had gone to go get some cigarettes from Rexalls, and had been gone a while, but no one really though much of it. We just assumed he had found some trouble.

It was Johnny's turn to pick, and it was Two-Bits question to ask. "So, Johnny" He did his best game show host impression, "Will it be truth or dare?"

He smiled widely before answering with utmost confidence, "Dare."

"Ohh, okay." Steve whispered something into Two-Bits ear, and his eyes lit up in inspiration. 

"Kiss Nicole."

The color flushed from Johnny's face and he looked at me and Sodapop before gulping. He fidgeted with his hands. He was nervous. 

"Oh come on Johnnycakes, don't be a wimp!" Steve taunted Johnny, starting to crack up with Two-Bit. Sodapop started to scowl at them, obviously not finding their dare very funny. He put his arm around me protectively, then turned to Johnny.

"Oh, come on guys." Johnny started, shifting around in his seat nervously. Of course they knew about Johnny's crush, I was stupid to hope they didn't. Sodapop turned to me. He sighed loudly before he whispered in my ear. "It's alright, I guess. I'll get them back after this." I loved Sodapop. I loved him so much, and I knew that after Sandy this was a big step for him.

"It's okay Johnny. You don't have to." I tried to reassure Johnny as he got up and walked over to where we were sitting on the couch. His face turned bright red, causing Steve and Two-Bit to lose it.

"Oh my god, Johnny, reel it in won't ya?" Two-Bit cackled, spilling his beer all over the carpet. Soda gritted his jaw and raised his eyebrows at Steve. Steve immediately stopped laughing and elbowed Two, making the laughter die down.

"Go ahead, Johnny." I smiled grimly, closing my eyes. His lips quickly pecked mine for a second, very quickly pulling back. I turned to face the group to see them all straight faced.

"Now, can we stop with the kissing dares, or do I need to make one of my own?" I crossed my arms, and they all shook their heads as fast as they could. I knew they thought that Johnny wouldn't do it. Soda laughed as I leaned into his body.

"I love you so much!" I planted a passionate kiss on his lips that felt like it lasted eternity. Everyone except Johnny started to whoop and holler, making us both smile. We pulled away, out of breath.

Dally burst in the door that second, out of breath and bruised. He looked like something out of a horror movie. His clothes were ripped and covered in mud. I was the first person up.

"Dallas, what the hell happened? Are you okay?" I gingerly touched his face and he flinched back in pain.

"Socs...Money..." A big red spot started to form near his lung. I knew what it was from. Darry started to get the first aid kit from the bathroom while the gang stood around us. "I think I was sho-" Dallas collapsed on the floor and I screamed. Sodapop pulled me into his arms as the gang put Dally on the couch.

"It's okay. Darry's got him. He's going to be okay." I hadn't realized I was sobbing until they wet fabric of Soda's shirt clung to my face. I don't remember much of those hours, my memory kind of skips ahead. Soda tells me I was a complete mess and that I screamed and cried for hours, sometimes just crying, sometimes for Dally.

After a few hours, I was finally able to get ahold of myself and settle down enough to stand near Darry. We didn't have enough money for the hospital fees, so no one called an ambulance as Darry tried his hardest to stitch up Dal's cuts and take the bullet out, but at this point, as Dallas' lifeless body laid cold in a pool of blood on the floor, we knew he was gone.

Darry didn't say anything as he slowly stopped trying and we stared down in shock at the remains of the toughest guy we knew. The gang started to leave, one by one, with Darry being the first one to go upstairs, followed by Johnny leaving and Pony going up to bed.

After a while, Sodapop and I were the only ones left. I knew this was hard for him, hell, all of them; their parents were gone and now Dally was too. I felt the pit in my stomach grow bigger and bigger as we stared at the shell of the boy who was once my brother. Sodapop put an arm around my shoulder and kissed my cheek to which I didn't respond. It was almost like I was in so much shock that I forgot how. He just sighed softly and turned to wipe my tear tracked cheeks.

"Come upstairs when your ready, okay? I don't think you should be sleeping alone tonight." I just nodded grimly as he slowly walked away and let a few more tears escape before I followed him as fast as I could. Darry was upstairs already, and I could hear him talking to the coroner about Dallas. I only heard that he was going to be here in about a half hour, and decided that it was best not to listen to them.

I flopped onto Sodapop's bed and stared up at the ceiling, trying not to break down. I knew Dally was dead. No one could have survived that. Sodapop was in the bathroom, getting ready for bed, so I was by myself. Ponyboy was already asleep in his bed.

My eyes were starting to water as he walked in and layed next to me. He wrapped on arm around my waist and pulled me closer to him. I knew he was trying to make me feel better, but it didn't help at all. No matter how much love he gave me, it wouldn't bring my brother back.

"Are you okay?" Sodapop whispered in my ear, even though I'm sure he already knew the answer.

"Yeah." I was starting to cry, so I pinched my eyes closed in an attempt to keep the tears from falling.

"No, you're not okay. If you were okay, you wouldn't be crying right now." I sniffled and turned to face him.

"He's gone. Dallas is dead and I'm stuck here. Why wasn't it me?" I felt the hot tears roll down my face. Sodapop tucked a piece of hair behind my ear.

"Because you still have time here. Dallas' time was up, you and I both know that." He wiped the tears from my face and pulled me into his arms while I sobbed into his shirt until I fell asleep.