The Little Winston

Chapter 40- The Aftermath Of The Worst Day Of My Life

A couple weeks later, I woke up pretty early, and apparently so did Sodapop as he was eating breakfast when I walked into the kitchen.

"Hey." He got up from his bowl of cereal and pulled me into him in an attempt to comfort me.

"Hey." I could tell he was worried about me, even if he didn't say it.

"Do you think we could go see Dallas today? I just really need to say goodbye." He leaned back to look me in the eyes with sympathy.

"Yeah. Of course."

"Can we go now? Like after I get dressed?" I sniffled and wiped my nose while Sodapop just nodded.

"You get ready and I'll start the car." I went back to the bedroom and found the navy blue dress that always made me look pale and put it on. Dallas always said that he liked that one. I didn't bother to do my hair before I ran outside to the car. I didn't say anything as we drove, and instead turned the radio up so loud I couldn't think. We were there before I knew it.

"Are you sure you still want to do this?" Sodapop stopped the car, turning towards me with a look of concern. "We can go back if this is too much."

"No, no, I need to do this," I took a deep breathe in, "I need to be able to move on."

I opened the door of the car and began to walk. The gravestones around me seemed to blend in with each other, with only one sticking out.

I sat down on the grass in front of it, flattening my dress.

"Hi Dally." My voice cracked. I smiled to try to keep the tears from falling, but it didn't work. "Oh god,I miss you, I miss you so goddamn much..." I curled into a ball and cried. I cried until I had no more tears. "I thought I could handle being here but I can't.... It hurts too much.." I managed to choke out between sobs, as if someone would be able to hear me. I had made Soda promise to stay in the car until I was done.

"Ssh, kid, you're gonna be fine without me. You're a Winston, you're a tough little cookie." Dallas' voice echoed through my head, making me look up, and I swear he was there leaning up against his gravestone, sporting that dangerous and goofy smile that he was so famous for. He still had on his leather jacket, and his old blue jeans.

"Dally, I love you so much... I miss you... Please come back..." I cried, oh boy did I cry.

"I love you too, but you gotta let me go. You're gonna be fine, the gang will take good care of you. I gotta move on and so do you." His voice broke and his eyes began to water. "I have to go."

I blinked and he was gone. "Dallas? Dallas! Oh god, not again." I sobbed as I stood up, running in a circle around the tombstone. No footprints, no dust. Nothing. I screamed as I wandered around the cemetery looking for him. It was almost as if he had died again.

After what seemed like hours, a rustle in the leaves caught my attention. "Dallas, oh Dallas!" Sodapop popped out from behind the tree, a relieved look washing over his face.

"Oh god, where have you been? I've been looking for you everywhere. We've been here all day!" He pulled me into a hug, stroking my head protectively.

"Dallas..." My voice was hoarse, I almost didn't recognize the sound of it. I knew I looked terrible, and my legs were covered in scratches from the sticks on the ground. My dress was ripped to the point of no return.

"Sshh. Let's go home so you can get some sleep." I ended up falling asleep on the way home, and didn't wake up until the next morning. I don't know why, but I woke up sobbing and I couldn't stop. No one was home, and there was no one to talk to, so I ran in the bathroom and closed the door, still crying my eyes out.