You Capture My Attention (GxG)

Chapter Thirty-Six

Lyndsey's POV:

I didn't say a word the entire car ride. It had to be the most awkward feeling in my entire life. I could feel Emalie's eyes on me; hell, I could feel everyone's eyes on me. I had been avoiding her as if she was no one to me. I knew this day would come but I didn't expect it for it to be today. Sighing, I leaned my head against the headrest of the car. This trip had taken its toll on me. With the constant feeling of paranoia from people taking pictures of Val and I, to Michele yelling at us at all hours of the day and night. I looked out of the corner of my eye to see Valerie smiling as she rubbed Oswald's head; which made the little guy squeak with delight. It was then that I noticed we weren't heading in the direction of my apartment. Clenching my teeth when the driver turned towards what I recognized to be Ana's home on the beach. We all climbed out of the car, grabbing our bags and thanking the driver. However, still no words were spoken to each other. I could feel goosebumps arise upon my skin. I felt caged in some way.

Ana let everyone in, directing us to the living room where we could place our luggage down. I watched as Emalie, alone, headed for the back door. I glanced towards Ana who only offered a sympathetic smile. This was obviously planned, and I had no way of avoiding her now. Sighing, I gave one last look towards the other women before heading outside and sliding the door shut. The first thing I noticed was the sun was setting off in the distance. It instantly brought a form of peace around me as the warm California air engulfed me. But, my eyes fell to the woman whose back was turned towards me; her body leaned against the railing. I swallowed the lump that had grown in my throat, walking towards her. Taking my position by her, I mimicked her posture.

"Do you remember when we were kids?" Her voice was quiet, causing me to almost miss it. I looked at her through the corner of my eye but refused to turn my head. "When your mother took you, your sister and me to the gold coast beach? You had a surfing competition there if I remember correctly."

"Yeah, I remember it like it was yesterday. We were twelve. And that was the day you fell off your board." I smiled at the memory that replayed in my head. Emalie laughed at the memory as well.

"That's right!" She laughed, shaking her head as she placed it into her palm. "I forgot about that part. I hit my head on a rock I believe."

"I had to pull you out of the water, too." I smiled fondly. When I turned my head, I could see the smile that was on her lips, though it was small.

"I could have drowned if you hadn't had seen me... but you were always looking out for me." I watched as her lip curled for a moment but fell once more. She looked at me finally, making my heart sink as I could see the hurt in her eyes. "Why didn't you tell me, Lyn?" Her voice was quiet again, her eyes looking away from me. I frowned, the warm arm failing to keep me warm now. Was I really the bad person here? I must be, it was my fault that she was in pain. I made her believe that we had a chance... to maybe give her what she had been craving all these years.

"Tell you what?" I stupidly chose to be nonchalant about it. And I mentally kicked myself for it. She let out a single 'heh' at that moment.

"Really? Are you really going to make me say it?" She whispered, causing me to feel like a complete asshole. Which I deserved and there was no denying that. But... I still couldn't bring myself to say it. I couldn't will my mouth to listen to me; to explain myself. "I would have understood. I would have respected your wishes. But now, I look like an idiot. You let me believe there was something there. But then again..." She laughed ironically, leaning her head slightly before looking back towards the sun setting before us, "Maybe I'm the one to blame. I knew when I met her that you two had this intense connection. I knew whenever I saw you two together that she was the reason you were smiling. She was the reason you were laughing like you used to. She was the reason your coldness melted away. I was kidding myself; telling myself that it was me and not her who was able to make you happy." I watched as a single tear fell down her cheek. Closing my eyes, I could feel the shame wash through me. "For years, I hoped... for years I told myself that you were the one for me. For years I thought you were gone only for you to be here; alive. Then I found out and I made this foolish thought that we could possibly rekindle something. I saw you with her and I felt my soul crush into a million pieces."