emotions, jack gilinsky

42

amara rahman

i smile widely at my phone, shoving it in my jacket pocket and grabbing the keys to the diner. javi had told me our mother had been asleep, and i took the opportunity.

"i think it's a good sign she hasn't said anything, actually." derek informs, trailing behind me as i head outside.

"i don't want to think about that right now." i mutter, locking the door. "and for the last time, i forgive you. so you don't have to follow me around like a lost puppy."

he scoffs, "i'm not."

"you are. you followed me around everywhere today, derek."

"whatever." he chuckles, walking towards his car. "do you need a ride?"

"sure." i shrug, taking advantage of his rare kindness and getting into his car.

he pulls out of the parking lot, and i tell him to take a left when we get to the stop sign. he raises an eyebrow at me, "not going home?"

i shake my head, "no, i'm going to jack's."

he hums, "what's the special occasion?"

"don't know. he asked for my help with something."

he pulls into his driveway, and i see a car parked beside us. "thanks for the ride." he nods with a small smile as i get out, closing the door and heading up the steps to his front door.

i knock a few times, hearing derek's car leave behind me. after a minute or so of silence, i back up, looking up at his bedroom. the light was on, so i knew he was inside.

i knock a couple more times, but got no response. i eye the tree beside his bedroom, sighing as i begin climbing up.

"i can't believe i'm doing this." i mutter, getting ahold of the branch before stepping on his roof. i pause in my place, squinting my eyes at who i thought i saw in his bedroom.

i frown, seeing their arms wrapped around each other. i step back onto the tree, slowly climbing down and jumping onto the grass.

i brush my jeans off as i begin walking down the sidewalk, feeling emotionless in the worst way possible.

+

miss nawell held a different attitude today, snapping at students more than usual today. i ignored it, until i became one of the victims.

"amara, do you mind not gazing out the window while i'm talking?"

my cheeks heat up, and i bite down on my lip, glueing my eyes to the table. she continues her lecture about the book we'd currently been reading, and i felt nate slightly nudge at me. "you good?"

i shrug, offering him a small smile before going back to staring at the table. i felt jack's eyes on me, but i didn't feel like looking up at him.

and after what seemed like centuries, the bell rang. i sigh with relief and stand, shoving my things into my bag and making my way out of the class.

"hey, amara. wait up." i let out a mental groan as jack walks up to me. i look up at him expectantly and he frowns, "did you come over last night?"

"uh, yeah." i reply, narrowing my eyes at him. "because..you texted me to.."

"right." he nods. "something urgent came up, and i'm sorry about that—"

"oh my god!" a squeal appears from behind me, and i turn to look at a familiar girl in my grade. she was staring down at her phone, and she looks up at me with her eyes widen. "i knew you two were hooking up in the summer."