emotions, jack gilinsky

28

jack gilinsky

it seemed like amara had shit going on, too. maybe that's why my anger for her lessened when i saw her in the cafeteria this morning.

from when i first met her, i could tell she'd like to dress up here and there, no matter how much shit she talks about fashion. but today, she'd worn black sweatpants with the same colored hoodie.

her eyes looked like they were burning. the kind of burning one feels when they cry their eyes out all night, and then again in the morning.

nobody was by her side, either. she looked like she wanted to be alone. i was going to let her, but then i remembered how it felt like.

i stare at her across the hall and watch her type something on her phone and slip it back in her pocket. i take a step forward, but pause when cj walks up to her, hugging her tightly.

followed by the hug, their lips press against each others, and an unreadable feeling spreads in my chest.

he talks to her for a bit, his arm wrapped around her waist as she replies to him.

"are they dating?" i ask johnson who stood beside me.

he looks up from his phone and at the supposed couple. "you didn't know, man? people were buzzing about it, or whatever. it was the hot topic for a while, before it was replaced by meredith..again."

"i really thought she didn't like him." i mutter. "i thought she hated him."

"well, clearly not." he shrugs. "whatever, enough about that. i need to know what's going on with you, dude."

i force myself to look away from them, sighing. "what about me?"

"tell me what's going on. you ditched me last week to go fuck yourself up with meredith, i thought you were done with that phase."

i roll my eyes, "it's not a phase."

he looks at me, signaling a popular reference people often use. "don't make me say it, bro."

i shake my head, "i'm good. i'm gonna stay away from her for a while."

"from who?" meredith asks, and my eyes widen. i turn around and face her as she crosses her arms.

"from—"

i interrupt johnson, "uh, nobody."

"you must've been talking about somebody." she chuckles, before looking to her right, where amara still stood. "oh, her?" i shrug, hoping she'll let it go. "she's dating cj? greene? oh, wow."

"why?" johnson asks curiously, and i nudge him.

"cj had a thing with gloria like, two days ago." she admits, and johnson's jaw drops while mine widen's.

"what do you mean, like a thing?"

"they hooked up, slow ass." she rolls her eyes. "anyways, who cares. come over later, jack?"

johnson looks over at me, too. "we're gonna hangout, actually." he answers for me. "so, yeah. bye."

she narrows her eyes at johnson before breaking out into a chuckle, "alright, cool." she shrugs, leaving our side and joining gloria who'd been staring at cj.

"dude..you almost gave in!"

"i didn't." i defend, looking over at amara.

"are you gonna tell her?" he asks, looking at her as well.

"i don't know."

+

i caught amara staring off into the distance while wiping a table. she immediately looks over at me, "oh uh, hi."

i slide in the booth, "hey, amara."

she'd cleaned up a bit, but i could still make out her exhausted expression. "what's up?"

"you said you were gonna come back..the other night."

she stares at me for a few seconds, and her face turns red for a few seconds. "i'm sorry. something came up, but it's no big deal."

"no big deal?" i ask, and we both turn our attention to amara's mother who hauled in a box into the boss's room.

i look back at amara, and she looks at me with a blank expression. "yeah." she answers calmly.

"you know you could tell me.." i trail off and she furrows her eyebrows at me.

"why would i?"

i drop my playful smile, feeling a little embarrassed. "i thought, uh..i thought— never mind." i mumble. "this is dumb, i'm gonna leave."

as i leave, i feel my heart sink when i realize she wasn't stopping me.

johnson's car was parked in front of the diner, while he sat in there waiting for me. i sigh, walking over to his window as he rolled it down. "dude, what are you doing here?"

"i had a feeling you were going to leave here disappointed, and i guess now i know where you go when you're feeling that way."

i roll my eyes, going to the other side of his car and opening the passenger's door, sitting inside. "she made me feel stupid..in front of her mom."

"i guess she gave you a taste of your own medicine, then." he grins, playfully nudging me and pulling out of the parking lot.

"fuck you." i mutter. "i didn't even have a chance to talk about cj."

"then let's talk to him instead of talking about him." he suggests.

"i'm down." someone says behind us, and it takes me a while to register that it was nate before i whipped around.

"nate? what the fuck?"

"he was bored." johnson explains. "also, he knew where the party was tonight."

"i thought you were trying to keep me away from parties." i deadpan.

"don't worry, i'll keep you under control." he assures. "anyway, amara will be there, too. why do you think she was cleaning up early?"

i sigh, setting my head on the window. "great. just perfect."

***
double update since i won't be able to for the next week <3