One Month Headed In One Direction

Chapter 26: I Still Love Him

[AN: So part of this chapter has been in my head since I came up with this idea. This song by Westlife actually sparked the idea for this story. I was originally going to call it “shadows” because as you can see all the girls can’t let go of the shadows of the past in their lives. The song is attached at the side. I really hope you like this chapter in particular. The italics are the song! I only put portions of the lyrics in, not the whole song.]

[NORA’S POV]

Why exactly am I sneaking through a hotel hallway? I’m a grown woman. What is the point of sneaking around a hotel at three in the morning? What am I thinking? I cussed as I bumped into yet another one of the godforsaken tables that this hotel insists on putting into the hallways as decoration. I was going to have so many bruises by morning. I crept closer until I finally reached my destination. I stood in front of his door with my hand raised above my head ready to knock, but I hesitated. Why was I here?

After finally getting the girls to settle down I had crawled into the bed in my room supremely exhausted, but sleep wouldn’t come to me. I figured it was the quiet of the room that was keeping me from sleeping so I tucked my iPod headphones into my ears and put it on shuffle. I was starting to fall asleep when I heard it. I played that song on repeat several times as I cried alone in my bed.

Have you ever heard a song that perfectly describes your life in that moment? A song that captivates you and puts crazy ideas in your head? No? Maybe it’s just me then. When the song “Shadows” by Westlife came on my iPod all my emotions came rushing at me. I know it’s corny to say it, but this song was all about me.

Morning after

Still lingers

Just waking up

I see a shadow of you

Making breakfast for two

I hum the start of the song to myself. It took me back to all those mornings with David. How he would smile as he cooked me breakfast every morning. Before David I never ate breakfast. I preferred to sleep in over getting up to toast some bread.

But I see shadows

Everywhere that I go

It's you, reminding me

Of how we were

Of how it was

I see shadows

Everywhere they follow

It's you and memories

Of how we loved

I've had enough of your shadows

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I could do this. I opened my eyes and they caught on the ring on my left hand. I gently pried it off looking at it. It had been David’s promise to me. It was a symbol of all of our memories together. But I had to let him go. I couldn’t hold onto a ghost any longer.

Four months gone

I can't feel you

I don't understand it

Where did you go?

I hate that you're all that I know

I let my hand fall to my side as I looked from the ring to the hotel room door. One symbolized my past and the other led to my future. That is if Louis was able to forgive me. I knew that I had burned him several times. I always claimed it was because I couldn’t let go of David, but I now realized how much I was deluding myself. David left me after only a short time together. I hate myself for not being able to let him go. I hated that he was all that I knew.