My Rude Boy

9

W
The smell of the trash burned my nostrils as I opened the door. As I looked around the small apartment all I saw was beer cans and pizza boxes. Clothes and trash were everywhere. I walked into the kitchen to see piles of dishes in the sink, dirty pots and pans.
"This is just fucking gross." I whispered under my breath.
I began to clean up and do laundry for him. I'd never thought things would get this bad. It took me five hours to clean, do laundry and take the trash out. I also went to the supermarket to make sure his fridge was stocked.
"Darling, Stop you didn't have to." He looked at me with concern. In his dirty work uniform. How can a person look worse that they ever did. He looked like he haven't showered or groomed in months.
"Well you damn near had vultures flying over the place dad. You've got to do better." I said.
"It's not your job to take care of me Lu." He sighed.
"Yes, I know that, but you aren't necessarily taking care after yourself." I continued to mop the floor.

"I am taking care of myself Lu. I got a job. And I got up today and I went." He sat at the table.
"Yes dad! As you should. I'm not gonna pat you on the back for something that your supposed to be doing." I raised my voice.
"I am still your father Whitanie. Don't talk to me that way." He said sternly.

"C'mon dad, when? When are you being a father to me huh? Ever since-
"Don't you dare go there. Do not." He pointed at me and began to walk away.
"You cannot keep pretending like it didn't happen dad. It happened. I have to live without him too. I feel it too. He was your son and my brother. You don't get to swallow yourself up just because you can't deal." I scream.
"I'm not dealing with it Lu? You weren't there. I was, I was there, I was supposed to be in the store. You think I don't think about this shit everyday? My son is dead because of me. You don't have to feel guilty for shit more than being damn spoiled."
I looked at him as tears flow from my eyes. I grab my bag and cars keys ran out the door.
I hate that shit got so complicated between us. I miss having my dad. Every time we see each other we fight about Winnie. Winacor was the glue that held this family together. I miss him daily. No one really knows what my situation is. Not even Cina.
Driving back to school Nic text me asking if I could meet him. I ended up calling him while driving because I didn't want to text.
"Hey!" His voice was calming in a way.
"Hey. I'm driving right now, so I can't text you." I said.
"It's also good. Are you okay. You sound..... off." He said.
"No, no, I'm good, I just get nervous driving at night that's all."
"Oh you shouldn't be, why didn't you ask me to get you?"
"I Uh. Wasn't thinking, I'm almost on campus tho."
"Can you swing by me for a sec. I wanna see you." He said softly.
"Yes." My mouth betrayed me.
"Good, I'll send my address." He said happily.
"Alright see you soon." I said
"Wait! I can stay on the phone... until you get here. If you want."
He's so sweet, I still don't get why he's into me.
"Um, it's okay. I'll listen to some music."
I hung up. Knowing he would have continued the conversation. Base off our date I can tell he's a talker. At least with me and I'm not a good listener but with him I feel like I can be talker and a listener with him.
I pulled into a drive way. His house was big. Not mansion big but big enough to make you wonder how much money he makes. I sat in my car and text him that I was as outside. 
I saw him walked out his house. In a black hoodie and blue sweats and Nike slides with socks on. I got out of the car.
We smiled at each other before he gave me a hug.
"I missed you." He said into my neck.
"Did you really?" I giggled.
"Yes woman. I don't know what you did to me."
"I ain't do nothing yet luv." I smiled at him.
He stared at me for while before his face expression changed.
"You've been crying?" He asked softly.
"What? Uh n-
Tear stains must have been on my face.
"Whit, please don't lie to me?" He said.
"Yea." I sighed and leaned on my car.
"Why?" He stood in front of me and held my hands.
I wish I could tell him. That my dad is a drunk and and can barely keep a job, that I barely know my mother, that my brothers death is still hurting us. 
"I just had a fight with my dad, I said some stuff he said some more stuff."
He had a blank expression. He just gave me another hug. A long one. One that I really needed.
"I'm sure he didn't mean to hurt you Whit." He rubbed my cheek. "People says stuff in the heat of the moment. Things get hard on all of us, all you can do is be there for him when he needs you."
"Nic, I've been there, right there by his side, helping him. It's hard you know? He makes it so hard sometimes."
"I get it. I know." He kissed my forehead.  "Life's a bitch. We all got our demons to fight."
Yeah, he suck at giving advice.

We ended up sitting on the back of my car. Looking at the stars. Not saying saying anything. I just wanted to enjoy his presence.
His phone began to ring.
"Yo." He answered.
"What the fuck are you talking about man." He sat up
"Fuck all that shit. I ain't tryna hear all that." He got up and walk down the driveway but I can see how upset he was.
"You better have my shit man. Tomorrow!" He yelled before hanging up.
"Is everything okay?" I asked.
He didn't say anything, he pulled me off the car and walking me to the drivers seat and I got in the car. He kissed my cheek.
"I gotta go." He said. "Drive safely call me if you feel nervous again."
I looked at him confused but I could tell there's no way he's going to open up to me yet.
"Okay." I said softly I started my car and looked at him again.
"I'm okay Whit. call me later okay?" He said then kissed me.
I nodded and pulled out his driveway while he stood there, I drove off.