Chapter 24: Ambivalent. Part I.
"There’s something else, isn’t there?” Mom figured me out. She badgered me about telling her what else has happened in the past that has made me into the person sitting in front of her. My eyes moved over to the front window to see Frank sitting on the swing patiently with a bottle of Sprite in between his palms. His diamond hazel eyes glowed in the morning light as he sat there in a pair of jeans a light grey tee shirt and a light denim vest that had all sorts of band merchandise buttons and patches covering it, he wore it with his Vans. I couldn't help the tears that stroked my cheek as I realized that Frank is in love with me and I'm dying.
“He doesn't know, does he?” Mom asked, knowing exactly what I was thinking. She has a knack of being able to read my mind. Her eyes bounced between the two of us, she looked a little bit stunned with shock. I knew why; I always tell Frank what’s going on in my life and I didn’t tell him this. I couldn’t. It would destroy him.
I swallowed hard and wiped my tears away from my eyes.
“No, he doesn’t and I want to keep it that way.” My voice was little and coarse, almost a raspy whisper from a phantom haunting an empty house.
“Eliese, you need to tell him.” Mom softly said, placing her soft hand on my knee gingerly. I didn’t tear my eyes from Frank. He looked so peaceful. The thought of my death destroying his peace disturbed me.
“Why? I’m gonna die of a broken heart no matter what I do.” I spat coldly, moving my eyes to meet my mother’s brilliant browns.
“Does anybody else know?” She asked curiously. I shook my head in reply. I felt myself sinking into a black hole of nothingness. It was the worst feeling I’ve ever had. I hated it. But there were a few memories that wrapped me in security of heavenly warmth. I couldn’t resist the smile that crossed my face.
“I kissed him and we made love together.” I mindlessly announced with a giant smile on my face. I know these are the sort of things you don’t usually talk about with your mom but I needed her to know that I’m no longer Miss Turtle and hiding in my shell.
“Face it, Eliese, you love him. Why not be happy with him?” Rae pushed me into doing something I’ve wanted to do for a very long time. And with the amount of drinks I’ve already pumped into myself, I was fearless. I set the pint of amber drink down on the ledge and effortlessly left the safety of my small group and glided across the room to where Frank was laughing happily. His diamond hazel eyes found mine. I filled in the gap between us and wrapped my arms around his neck. My heart was racing and my mind was full of confidence. In that moment, I pressed my lips against his soft, warm lips; the lip ring was cold and sent shivers down my spine. At first he was surprised by my actions but after a second I felt his hands band aid themselves onto my sides and his lips begin to force back against mine. I figured since I was going to die at the end of the summer, I might as well die happy.
I’ve been to heaven; heaven is wrapped in his arms and kissing him with every ounce of love I had to offer. I’ve experienced heaven, nothing can compare now.
I sat on the bed in mine and Rae's room, Barbra and dad decided to get rid of the actual bed so now it's just a mattress on the floor. I had Rae's Les Paul mounted on my knee. I know how to play a little bit of guitar thanks to Frank. I wore a plain white tee shirt with a pair of black short shorts. The roomed was costumed to mine and Rae's personalities. Dad and Barbra didn't mind our mess as long as they didn't have to see it. The bed was a mess, our clothes were all over the place, makeup was scattered over the vanity, coke cans and twinkie wrappers overflowed the garbage can. Rae and I will clean it up though, we won't leave it like this. It won't be fair to my dad and Barbra, they've been so nice to us.
