Chapter 18: Devine Infection.
I was in the middle of my sentence when it struck, the panic attack that has been building up. My mouth had dried, my chest was cramping while my heart was racing irregularly, I was both freezing cold and boiling hot, I had beads of sweat making rivers down my body. I couldn’t breath; it felt like I was being choked. I was so faint I thought if I passed out I’d die or something. My stomach was twisting into tight knots that made me feel sick. There was a ringing in my ears.
Dad looked at me curiously before concern washed his face.
“Eliese, are you okay?” I could barely hear his voice over the high pitch ringing in my ears. I wish I could reply to him but I couldn’t gather myself up. All I could do was claw at the collar of my shirt to loosen it from my neck in an attempt to breathe. It didn’t help. Dad was frightened now as he jumped to his feet, he came to my side.
“Eliese?!” He shouted over and over again. He didn’t know to deal with my panic attacks, only mom did. That made me panic even more, I needed to stop panicking. It didn’t surprise me when I slipped off of the bench of the picnic table. Dad caught me but it didn’t stop me from landing on the ground. I couldn’t think. The lights were on but nobody was home.
I grasped a deep breath of the California air; oxygen filled my lungs as I was brought back to reality. I found my body lying in a hospital bed with an IV line leading into my arm. I stared up at the blank white ceiling. I could hear my surroundings, it was buzzing with activity. I came to the conclusion I was in the emergency room.
“Siddalee, can you hear me?” A black haired Doctor asked, standing over me. My eye brows furrowed sarcastically.
“No, I’m deaf.” I commented in a sassy tone. An eruption of low snickers filled the small space. The Doctor smiled widely and nodded.
“Do you remember what happened?” He asked as I sat up on my elbows, I was lying on top of an ER gurney. I found that I was hooked up to an oxygen tank, the tubes led up into my nostrils. It tickled a little bit but I’m used to being on oxygen. My dad, Barbra and my half siblings huddled in the small space. I sighed softly and attempted to grasp onto my last memories before everything went black.
“I was at the batting cages with my dad and I had a panic attack.” I said with a raspy voice that ached slightly. My throat was drier than what I originally thought. The Doctor smiled charmingly at me and nodded.
“Good.” He said writing something down on his clip board.
“What happened to her? Why did she pass out?” Dad asked nervously, stepping forward. I already knew what it was and the Doctor did too. It was as if he mentally connected with me, he knew that I didn’t want my family knowing what’s really happening. Jimmy knew too.
“It’s nothing serious, she’ll be fine.” The Doctor lied right through his teeth with a deceiving smile. I didn’t know if I should be happy or scared that a Doctor lied about a diagnosis point blank. But seeing the relief on dad’s face when the Doctor said I’d be fine was worth the lie. My heart broke when Jimmy and I shared a glance, I saw something in his eyes, a strong emotion but I couldn’t place it. I didn’t have to stare at it for long since he swung out of the small curtained room and left the emergency room.
“Thank God.” Dad breathed heavily. Without a thought I scoffed at his comment and rolled my eyes.
“Yeah, ‘God’ has a lot to do with this.” If he only knew what my fate was, he wouldn’t be praising a powerless God. Dad looked at me with an odd look that made me feel bad about scoffing at his praising words. The Doctor left the room to go fetch the release papers. Barbra and the girls left to go find Jimmy while dad stood nervously in the corner with my backpack hanging by his fingers from the hook strap. He watched me with a sorrowful expression.
