Chapter 2: Bones Exposed.
Eliese
3 weeks earlier
“How much time do I have left?” I asked as I swung my legs back and forth on the bed. I always thought that I’d be old and frail and in a care-home when I asked that question; instead of being barely out of High School with many years still ahead of me. I thought if I were to ever utter those words I’d be scared out of my mind, I’m not. I’ve been in so much pain and knowing that there’s an end in sight makes me feel relieved.
Doctor Noonan pursed her lips and leaned back in her seat with my chart resting on the leg that was draped over the other. She reminded me of a penal code kind of person, her jet dark hair was tied back into a bun, she wore a black pant suit under her lab jacket and she wore very little but professional amount of makeup around her black framed eyes and on her thin lips. Her nails were clipped and filed to the same length and they were very clean. Her hands looked dry though, probably from having to wash them all the time.
“Eliese, I’m not going to lie to you and say that there’s six months left,” She paused when her voice began to wobble. She had to resist the urge to bite her lip and let the tears run from her eyes. Doctor Noonan has been my cardiologist for the last eighteen years and has a very friendly bond with one and other. So when she had to stop because her voice began to shake, it made me worried that this is more serious than I originally thought.
“Eliese, I’d cancel your college registration; you’re not going to make it to see September.” The words were like a bullet that just shot me between the eyes. I watched as the sands of time slipped between my fingers. My entire world dropped like a glass disco ball falling from the ceiling at the skating rink, it shattered at my feet.
“Four months? I have four months left? Are you sure I won’t make it? I mean, I’ve made it this long.” I managed to speak without a stutter or a shaky voice. Doctor Noonan frowned painfully as she uncrossed her legs and placed my file on her desk.
“Eliese, I’m sorry but the tear in your heart cannot be fixed and in the last six weeks it’s gotten worse. We can stabilize the blood flow from the valves with medication but the tear is getting worse and once the valve is broken it’ll be a quick and painless death.” Doctor Noonan hit me like a hurricane with a gale force of silent screams. I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t know what to do. What is there to do, or to say? What does one say or do when they’re told they have to live forever in a number of days?
Doctor Noonan told me my prescription would be ready for me by Friday and to come back to collect it. Our conversation was one sided, her side. I didn’t say anything; I gave Doctor Noonan a casual nod before hopping down from the bed. I grabbed my old leather jacket which reeked of cigarette smoke and my bag then left the small Doctor’s office in Newark, New Jersey. The Doctor’s office is the same size as one you’d see in a really small town; it had the decor and everything. I swung my jacket on, zipping it up over my black Bambi tee shirt. Even though it’s early May in New Jersey it’s still chilly outside so I wore a black knitted beanie. Once I stepped out into the chilly May air, I dug through my bag to find the keys to my ‘hippie van’ as Frank likes to put it. I bought this van a couple years ago, I worked my butt of to get enough money to buy it and I managed to save up half and luckily my mom paid the other half. When I got it, the inside smelt like pot and was completely decked out in 60’s shiz; since then I turned it into my little sanctuary where I can go to write. It now smells like my perfume, coffee and cigarette smoke. My mom was so pissed off at me when I pulled into the driveway with this thing, she didn’t see the ad for it in the news paper and she helped pay for half of it. She was so angry when I pulled in with it. But I like it; I can come here for salvation for a couple hours and not worry. She still doesn’t like it but she’s learned to tolerate it.
