After the split of Panic! At The Disco and the breakup of Brendon and Ryan, Brendon couldn't deal with the loneliness of being without Ryan at his side. As time went on Brendon got to the point of taking his own life. After his funeral, while Ryan i...
Brendon When Ryan was finally pleased with how much food I had stuffed myself with he smiled nodding on approval. He took the plates and silverware to the sink washing them off, scrubbing the grease of some and syrup off of others. I feel like I could count down from 10 and I'd blow up and cause the damn world to shake. Ryan has always been good at making that happen though. Don't let him fool you he's an amazing cook. Ryan laughed softly and shook his head. "Still over exaggerating Bren?" He asked. Well damn I must've been speaking out loud again. Ryan turned to me with his signature smile painted across his face. That same god awful smile that made my heart leap and my stomach erupt like a volcano that had been dormant for 100 years finally deciding to blow its fucking top still etched on his dumb face. "Of course, why wouldn't I be?" I asked, causing him to laugh more. He shook his head and dried the now clean dishes putting them back in their designated places. "Go take a shower and put on some clean clothes then you can go back out to your studio, you'll feel much better when you're clean." He said. I huffed softly. "I'm too lazy." I said. "Brendon Boyd Urie I said go take a shower. No offense but you smell really bad." Ryan said. I smiled softly "fineeee. I don't smell it though just to let you know. I think you're the one over exaggerating now Ross." Ryan smiled and shook his head waving his hand in a shooing motion. I laughed quietly and walked to the bathroom, humming softly as I grabbed a towel and a clean pair of clothes. I walked to the bathroom and turned the water on making sure it wasn't too hot for my sensitive skin and hummed in satisfaction when it was warm enough. I put the clean clothes on the counter and stripped out of my old smelly ones throwing them out the bathroom door for Ryan to get. He didn't have to tell me it was something he would do when we were together. I've made a habit of it. I even did it when he was gone but every time I did they'd still be there when I came out which was pretty depressing in itself. I got in the shower and let out a relaxed breath as the water hit my body, running down my tense back. I hummed quietly as I started scrubbing myself with a loofah (idk what you guys call them but these things)
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A few minutes later Ryan knocked on the door to let me know he was getting the clothes I left out for him to get and then I was alone again. I started thinking of when Ryan and I were a couple and how we would take those cheesy showers together that sometimes led to sex and sometimes just ended up being cuddle sessions while the water created a blanket of warmth around our bodies. I sighed softly and turned the water off, now feeling too lonely to even continue to shower longer than I needed to. I got out and dried myself off putting the clean clothes on and walked out to Ryan sitting on the sofa drinking a soda and watching TV. He looked up and smiled softly, lightly tapping the spot beside him. I quickly made my way to the couch and sat beside him leaning against him slightly. I needed the warmth. The feeling of having him beside me again. "How was your shower?" He asked softly. "It was okay. Got lonely." I said softly and looked up at him. Ryan chuckled softly and nodded. "I understand, you could've asked me to join if you wanted." He said, rubbing the back of my head. I smiled softly at the feeling and let out a little breath. "Well I didn't know that..I'll keep that in mind but for now keep doing that." Ryan smiled and kissed my head nodding. "Of course Bren. Anything you want." He whispered. I smiled and closed my eyes relaxing against Ryan and before I knew it I was asleep again.
