23: Sleep

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Kira~
I wanted so badly to talk to Dean but it was too late. Dean left for college and I couldn't get him back. School started a few days ago but I couldn't bring myself to go.
        Lizzy didn't really talk to me anymore, Dean was gone, and the rest of the school hated me. I just laid in bed all day and moped around.
        Gerard could see the pain I was in. He didn't interfere with me and just left me alone.

        When Gerard left for a meeting, I went to the bathroom and dig through my drawer to find what I was looking for. I picked up the shiny blade and locked the bathroom door in case someone comes home early. I sat on the floor and looked over at the blade. I took a deep breath and pressed it against my skin, dragging it slowly to watch the blood slowly show.

        I felt satisfied but angry at myself for doing this. But that didn't stop me. I kept dragging it across my arm until there was only blood and cuts all over my wrist. The blood started dripping onto the floor and got onto the rug.
        "Shit!" I stood up and grabbed a rag, getting it wet and rubbing it on the rug. The blood spot was mostly gone but if you looked closely, or could still see it. I couldn't just wash the rug because if Gerard or Lindsey came home while it was in the wash, they'd start questioning me.

        I looked at my wrist and ran it under water, cleaning the wrist of fresh and dried blood. I waited for it to stop bleeding before going putting the blade back in it's hiding spot and heading to my room. I replaced my Mania tee with a Black Veil Brides hoodie. It was black so even if my wrist started bleeding, no one would notice. I went downstairs and turned the temperature down so it was colder in the house.

        Soon enough, Lindsey and Bandit came home and I was on my laptop.
        "Kira? Why is it so cold." I walked downstairs and saw her mess with the temperature.
        "But I like it cold!" I whined.
        "It's fine at seventy degrees. Also are you okay? You seem pale," she put her hand against my forehead and then my cheeks. "You seem warm. Go get the thermometer." I sighed and went up to the bathroom when I saw a couple drops of blood still on the floor. I wiped them up and then grabbed the thermometer.

        I gave it to Lindsey and she put it in my mouth. When it beeped, she pulled it out of my mouth and sighed.
        "Hundred and one. Up to bed, I'll bring you some medicine." I went up to my room and laid in bed, grabbing my phone. Lindsey walked in and handed me a couple pills, some water, and set down a bowl of grapes.
        "I wasn't sure if you've eaten but here's some food." I thanked her and took the pills.

        "Alright. So rest and I'll either check on you later or Gerard will." She kissed the top of my head and left the room. A little bit after she left, I started to feel sleepy so I closed my eyes and fell asleep.

~~~~~

        I woke up to my door opening and I saw it was dark. Gerard turned my lamp on and sat in my chair.
        "Sorry, I didn't mean I wake you. Lindsey told me to bring you a couple pills in case you needed some when you woke up." He handed me two pills and I popped them in my mouth, swallowing them with water.

        "Do you think you'll ever go to school?" I shrugged.
        "I don't want to be alone all day every day with people shooting me glares and talking bad about me." Gerard sighed.
        "Listen, I'll talk to the school and see if they can have you do work online. But you need to go to school at some point," I shook my head. "Okay fine." He kissed the top of my head and left the room.

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