Frank Potter and the Forbidden Chemical Romance

Yer A Wizard Frankeh!

Frank's POV

"Yer a Wizard, Frankeh!" the large and hairy man in front of me said. I froze and looked at him. He was smiling down at me.

Pedo much? I thought to myself. 

"Who the hell are you?" I demanded.

"I'm Bob. Bob Hagrid. Pleasure to meet ya, yer very famous," the giant pedo man replied.

"Okay, weirdo, what mental asylum did you escape from?" I asked. Pedo Man, or Bob, or whatever his real name was, laughed. He laughed so hard he shook the tiny shack me and my idiot cousin, aunt, and uncle were sharing because of the incident a few days ago...

Flashback

My uncle was Happy. It was Sunday, and as my uncle had put it:

"No post on sundays! No more Bloody letters today!"

"Motherfucker, you shut your fat mouth and choke on your damn crumpet," I growled under my breath.

My idiot pig of a cousin, Dudley, heard me and opened his fat black hole of a mouth to tell his father, when a letter fell out of the chimney. 

Really? The fucking chimney? I thought to myself.

Just then, another fucking letter fell out of the chimney. Then another. 

How the HELL do these people manage to get all these letters down the chimney? 

I was tempted to look out the window, but I had a priority. I wanted my fucking letter. They've been coming for 3 weeks, and someone always gets rid of them. 

I jumped onto the coffee table, spilling my poor coffee in the process, and proceeded to jump up and down like a madman, trying to catch a letter.

My uncle roared like a dragon as he figured out what I was doing. He tried to grab me, but was blinded by letters. I hoped one would cut out his eye. I grabbed one and started to run down the hallway to my room, but was grabbed by the neck by a red-faced uncle Vernon.

"LET ME GO! LET ME GO! I WANNA READ MY LETTER!" I wailed. He grabbed the letter out of my hand.

"WE'RE LEAVING! PACK YOUR BAGS!" he screamed to Dudley and Aunt Petunia. 

End of Flashback

So, that's how come I'm in a fucking shack with a pedo. 

Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia came running down the stairs. Uncle Vernon was holding a gun. Aunt Petunia wailed when she saw Dudley cowering in a corner and ran to hug him.

"I DEMAND YOU LEAVE AT ONCE!" Uncle Vernon yelled at Bob the Pedo.

"Shut up Dursley, ye great prune," Bob grunted. He grabbed the gun and twisted it into a pretzel shape. I gulped, my badassness going down the drain.

I may only be 11, but I'm a fucking badass. (A/N: Holy Shit... As I wrote that... I realized they're all 11...)

"L-Leave at o-once," Uncle Vernon stuttered.

"Not so badass now, are you?" Bob asked. I chuckled. Uncle Vernon was not a badass. Not. At. All. He may try to act like one, but he would never be a badass like myself.

"I demand you leave!" Uncle Vernon repeated. 

"Shut up and make some tea," Bob demanded.

"Now, Frankeh, back you you being a wizard-"

"STOP RIGHT THERE! WHEN ME AND PETUNIA TOOK HIM IN, WE SWORE WE'D NOT LET HIM BECOME ONE OF YOUR KIND!" Uncle Vernon yelled.

"You knew!?" I growled.