Chapter 4

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(Brendon's POV)

I wake up to someone shaking me and I groan. "No.. lemme sleep.." I say, an attempt to push the person away. "B, get up." I hear Dallon say and I shake my head, keeping my eyes closed. "Brendon Boyd Urie, get your ass up or I'll pour freezing water on you." He says and I open my eyes quickly saying a "I'm up I'm up, don't you dare." And he laughs. I sit up and playfully glare at him In which he responses to by shrugging. "You're an asshole. Sleeping is nice." I say.

The pain in my head has now dulled to a slight uncomfortable pain. I still had a headache though, and my vision was only slightly blurred. "How are you feeling, Bren?" He asks, leaning his back against the headboard. "I feel a bit better, not much. Still feel like fucking shit but ya know." I say chuckling and he frowns.

"I really wish you wouldn't do this to yourself." He says and I sigh, and look up at him. "Then don't let me." I say, and after I said that it was silent. Wasn't necessarily awkward silence, more of a comfortable one. "I'm not gonna." He says, running his fingers through my hair. My hair was probably so fucking greasy, I very well much need a nice long shower. I'll do that in the morning though. I'm far too comfortable to get up at the moment.

Dallon's phone starts ringing and I jump at the sudden noise. Dallon chuckles and his face drops when he looks at the screen. "I'll be back." He says, getting out of the bed, and walking out of my room, while answering his phone. I sit up, confusion taking over. I wonder who it was. He seemed awfully worried about it. After about 10 minutes go by,  Dallon walks in the room, with tear stained cheeks. "What's wrong? What happened?" I ask, sorry taking over me as he sits on the edge of the bed. I crawl over to him, and sit next to him.

"What happened, Dal?" I ask softly. "I got kicked out of my apartment. Since I'm n-never there, I totally forgot my rent was due." He says tears filling his eyes and I frown. "Wait.. seriously?" I ask softly and he nods, putting his head in his hands. "I can't move back in with my parents, Bren. I-I don't want them to think I'm a failure." He says. This was all my fault. It's all my fault he got kicked out of his apartment. He's so busy with helping my problematic self that he wasn't able to do basic adult things. As in simply paying his bills.

"Wait, Dal, since you're always here, just move in with me." I say and he shakes his head. "I can't, I don't wanna be a burden, I'll have to figure something out." He says and I roll my eyes. "Bullshit. You won't be a burden you're my best friend c'mon." I say. "Actually you don't have a choice you're moving in with me whether you like it or not. In the morning go to your apartment and pack all your stuff." I state and he removes his head from his hands.

"Why're you so stubborn?" He asks, rubbing his eyes. He's so adorable what the hell. "Because, I am. Always have been. You're staying with me." I say and he playfully rolls his eyes. "Well, thank you for letting me stay with you." He says and I smile. "You're always here anyways, Dal." I state and he slowly nods. "I dunno about you but I'm still tired." He says  and I nod.

"I am tired and I wanna cuddle so come here." I say and he smiles. He gets up and lies down next to me. "Ya know most people would think it's weird for best friends to cuddle." I state, while resting my head on his chest. "Well, last time I checked, we aren't normal." Dallon says and I chuckle and nod. "Though I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you kissed me multiple times last night. What was up with that?" He asks and I could feel my whole body tense up. Should I be honest with him? Yeah, he would never hate me. "I'm confused. That's why." I state shakily and he stays quiet. "Sexuality wise?" He asks and I nod.

"Why'd you kiss back?" I ask, as he begins to play with my hair again. "I'm not sure.." He states, an unsure tone in his voice. "Can I admit something?" I ask and he says a small sure. "I liked when I kissed you. Both times, I liked it." I say, and I could feel my breathing picking up. I don't know why I'm so nervous. He's best friend I could tell him anything. Maybe I shouldn't have told him that though. Maybe that was something I should've kept to myself. "It's okay, Bren. I liked it too." He says. "I'm scared.." I state and when he doesn't answer, I decide to continue. "I've always thought I was straight. And the more I think about it, the more I realize how much I really couldn't care for girls. This is all new to me, and it scares me." I say shakily.

"It's okay, B. Anytime you need advice, I'll be here. No need to be scared." He says, his voice soft. I knew I could go to him. He's known for almost 8 years now that's he's gay. I don't know what I am. "I'm just confused.. I don't know what I am, and it's stressful. Fuck labels holy hell." I say and he placed a kiss to the top of my head. "Calm down. You like girls too right?" He asks and I nod. "I like people, I guess. I don't know what that means but, I like people. I don't think anything matters." I state and he chuckles.

"So, pansexual perhaps?" He asks and it's like everything clicked. "Wait, yeah I never thought of that!" I say, a small, smile on my face and I wince. My head is still killing me. "Hey, calm down. Take it easy, B." He says and I nod. After a few minutes of staring at the ceiling, I could hear Dallon softly snoring. He's exhausted, I can't blame him. Suddenly my phones dings, indicating that I had received a text message. I reach over, and grab my phone, and unlock it.

Josh👽: How ya holdin up bud?
Brendon🤠: my head hurts man
Josh👽: I bet, he got you pretty good
Brendon🤠: i learned that I'm a pan today
Josh👽: should I be concerned
Brendon🤠: pansexual, I meant pansexual
Josh👽: oooh, that's nice, I'm glad you're finding yourself
Brendon🤠: I think I love Dallon
Josh👽: lmao same who doesn't
Brendon🤠: no like I think I'm in love with my best friend
Josh👽: O fuck
Josh👽: can I go to the wedding?
Brendon🤠: fuck off this is serious
Josh👽: I'm joking, who knows, he might even like you back
Brendon🤠: there's a chance that he might not though
Josh👽: don't even worry about it, I though Tyler would never like me back and now look at us, he's the love of my life
Brendon🤠: cool, gay, I get it now tell me what I should do
Josh👽: Go with this flow, dude, I mean I saw you guys like kissing and shit at the party, so obviously he has to like you to some extent right?
Brendon🤠: o yea I forgot about that
Brendon🤠: I also kissed him in the bathroom
Josh👽: way to come on strong
Brendon🤠: wanna fight
Josh👽: come at me, forehead I'll snatch your beautiful hair
Brendon🤠: ha don't be mad at me because you're a bald squirrel and shaved your head
Josh👽: IT GREW BACK YOU SLUT
Brendon🤠: COME AT ME MY FOREHEAD AND I ARE READY
Josh👽: shut up, 27728282828head
Brendon🤠: 27728282829head**
Brendon🤠: get your facts straight
Josh👽: if I can't get my sexuality straight, what makes you think I'm getting anything straight
Brendon🤠: LMAO M00D
Brendon: fuck I keep laughing and I don't wanna wake dal up I think Imma go
Josh👽: are you guys in the same bed
Brendon🤠: yea
Josh👽: holy shit did you guys fuck
Brendon🤠: wtf no, I have a concussion and he wanted to keep an eye on me, plus I'm hurt and want cuddles so here we are
Josh👽: aWW that's so gay and cute I love it
Brendon🤠: yes I relate
Brendon🤠: HE'S WAKING UP ABORTMISSION ABORTMISSION
Josh👽: we'll get 'em next time
Brendon🤠: you fucking meme
Brendon🤠: okay I gotta go bye alien boi
Josh👽: alright go make out with dalpal, 27728282829head

Authors Note

I'm sorry I take so long so update

I'm insecure about writing this book, it's my first Brallon book and I'm terrified of being judged

But I'm trying :)

So HERE'S ANKTHER CHAPTER FOR YOU AMAZING HUMANSS EEEK

I'll try to update more, but I've been busy, and lazy, not gonna lie, and procasinating but I'll try harder just for you guys :))

Remember to:
take your pills if your prescribed any,
shower,
eat,
stay hydrated.
Self care is important and make sure to take care of your mental health. You're beautiful, you're powerful, you're brave and I believe in you❣

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