36. God Save The Queen

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"So, you finally shagged the bitch," Leala groaned, setting herself down on the worktop across the kitchen. I rolled my eyes. It was too early to be dealing with Lee's over protective antics right now and I was still trying to figure out what to do with my morning wood. It was only 8:00 a.m. and already I needed something stronger than tea.

Harry Styles

"Leala, don't start. I'm not even awake yet," I groaned, rubbing the heels of my hands against my eyes. It had been a very long and eventful night and now I was adding an early morning visit from the notorious Leala Kane to the list.

Oh, the joys of her friendship.

Mechanically, I reached up and retrieved two more teacups and saucers from the cupboard, filling one with tea and the other coffee— Max was still pro-petrol no matter how hard Lee and I tried to sway him.

"You look fairly awake to me?" She quipped, her gaze dragging down my bare chest to the still prominent tent in my joggers. Fucking hell. Of course she wouldn't let that go. Leala refused to let anything go, especially when it had the added bonus of embarrassing either Max or I.

"That's a different matter entirely," I grumbled, rummaging through the kitchen for milk and honey. I took my tea black, but ironically, Lee preferred hers with cream; Max was inexplicably dependent on the sugar in honey.

"So you weren't going to jump each other in the kitchen before we walked in?" I didn't even have to look at her to know that she was grinning impishly back at me. I had to struggle to resist the overwhelming urge to retrieve the bottle of Bardstown bourbon from beneath the sink. Alcohol would only make it worse.

"What I do in the privacy of my own home is none of your concern."

"Oh, so the big, bad Professor is coming out to play. Guess what, you wanker, I don't give a shit if you talk down to me. You're going to tell me one way or another." She crossed the kitchen to me, pinching my nose between her thumb and forefinger, giving my head a shake for good measure. I rolled my eyes at her before downing the entire cup of scalding tea- I needed the peaceful clarity it brought. Bad idea. There wasn't much peace in searing the entire inside of your mouth. She just watched me, an amused grin curling the edges of her lips. How the hell had I managed to surround myself with such infuriating, overbearing women? How did I ever think that it would be a good idea?

"What's with the eye rolling? It's so... American." Her tone implied that the entire concept of the American Culture left a sour taste in her mouth which only encouraged me to roll my eyes at her, yet again. "That!" She gasped, swatting me on the shoulder, "Stop doing that!"

"You're quite exasperating sometimes," I muttered, refilling my cup. I was sure to let it cool this time before downing it. Maybe I should take Darien up on that offer for anxiety medication?

"You say I'm exasperating? You're banging a chick who is more diseased than those people advertising AIDs medication on the telly!"

"For fuck's sake, Lee!" I groaned. Sometimes she could be so damn improper it wasn't even funny. I didn't know what I should be more upset about, the fact that she'd found it appropriate to make fun of people dying from sexually transmitted diseases they had no control over or her dig at Darien. Looking to the heavens for some sort of guidance, I decided to deal with her unintended insolence first. She couldn't just go around saying that shit.

"Filter, Lee. F-I-L-T-E-R," I sounded the word out for her, doing my best to stress the thinking before speaking part of conversation.

"What did she say now?" Max sighed, stepping into the kitchen from the hall leading to my bedroom. He seemed more frazzled than he had before he'd walked in. Leala eyed him devilishly and I immediately knew that I didn't want any part of what was going on between those two.

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