New Kid

16 : Emotion Overload

16 : Emotion Overload

Arabella Marie Cipriano. Born May 3rd,1934. Died September 20th, 2014. She lived in Tuscany, Italy, all of her life. They told me she never cared to travel the world, that she had all she needed right in Italy. A loving husband, and three amazing children. They told me how she had the best personality, how she lit up the room. They told me how she was the best mother any one could ask for. They spoke about her, as if I knew her. Unfortunately, I wasn't lucky enough to meet such an fantastic person.

We never did leave for Italy that morning. Early that night the tripped was delayed due to the tragic news, of my grandmother's passing. They said her death was spontaneous, supposedly she was getting better. I never got the chance to get to know her. We'd talk on the phone from time to time, but I never actually, got to know her.It was a sleepless night for everyone. My dad, was taking it pretty hard, as expected. Seeing him in that state wrenched my soul. I couldn't imagine losing my mother, the only person who will always understand me, and love me for who I am, the only women who could ever steal my heart. I climbed into my parents bed that night. Who says grief can't be shared.

I was seated in my first period class, doing absolutely nothing. My parents offered me the opportunity of staying home, but being my current broken hearted stubborn self, I declined. I looked down at the paper on my desk, we were supposed to be writing an essay. I stared dumbfoundingly at the prompt paper. It read, Choose a novel or play that you have studied and write a well-organized essay in which you describe an "illuminating" episode or moment and explain how it functions as a "casement," a window that opens onto the meaning of the work as a whole. Avoid mere plot summary. Although, this assignment couldn't be described as challenging, I still couldn't bring myself to write anything on my paper. I could feel information vanishing from my brain. Unabashedly, I looked over to see how Jace was doing. He was working assiduously, to focused to notice me, I guess.

Towards the end of class, the rest of my classmates engaged in conversation while I sat there in silence. I felt as my muteness grew louder, my existence began to fade, and the only way out was a cry for help. Yet, I wouldn't be able to do that without putting myself out there. Giving someone insight to all of my problems, and a window to my mind field of a life. The bell rung bringing me to my feet. I rushed out of the classroom, keeping my head low, I occasionally bumped into people. I headed straight for the bathroom, avoiding everyone, and no one.

I pushed through the door, and peaked my head inside. The coast was clear. I was all alone, or so I thought. I dragged myself to the sinks. I splashed water on my face, in attempt to bring some life back to my face. I ripped a piece of paper towel from the dispenser. Drying my face, I looked to the mirror again, and notice something that wasn't there before. "This is the 'girls' restroom," I said, putting emphasis on girls. I threw the paper towel in the trash bin, and looked up at Jace.

He leaned against the door, watching me from afar. I crossed my arms and approached him carefully. "What do want," I grumbled. He too, folded his arms. He looked down at me, pressing his lips, and clenching his jaw. "I want to know what's going on with you," he said cautiously. "What do you mean," I said lamely. I stared at my feet, if I look at him, he might see straight through me.

"You didn't call to tell me you were staying, and not speaking to me for all of first period, what was up with that," he spoke softly, but I could hear the disappointment eating away at his words. I could tell it took a great deal of restraint, for him not to lash out on me. I sighed. "Our flight was delayed, and I was more focused on writing the essay than socializing," I lied. I felt his eyes burning holes, but I continued to stare at my feet. "Look at me," he said more forcefully, this time.

I rolled my eyes looking up at him. I stared at him through my lashes, his eyes bore into mine. "You can't lie to me," he said honestly. "You didn't pick up your pen once, the entire class period," he said. "And you look terrible, did you get any sleep last night," he observed. I scoffed. "Hey, I don't need you analyzing everything I do, and I most certainly don't need 'you' worrying about me," I said getting worked up. "Now, I will ask you nicely, please step aside, I have a class to attend," I said keeping my cool.