What Is It Like?
What is it like you ask…
To really be crazy
To know your mind doesn’t like you
And tricks you all the time
What is it like you wonder
Though you don’t want to ask me
To have to look at the world
Through a fog of pills
And have a battle of wills
Just to stand up and put on your socks
These medicines they are barely better
Than being crazy
But give me a reprieve
A few years, a few months
Before the noises come back
And the radio speaks my voice
And everyone in the world
Is talking about me
Not all the pills are bad
These ones here, little blue ones
They help me sleep
These green capsules
Kept me happy
Through a war,
A stock market crash
And the death of my mother
But these orange ones
I don’t like those
Even though last time I stopped them
I spent 6 months in the hospital
Waiting
Hating
Pacing
Dying
Slowly
Dying
Screaming
This is my secret
One I must hide always
No one likes a crazy person
Much less a young person whose hands shake
I see my world through wet goggles
And can barely balance myself
To put on a pair of shorts
When I have to do something
It’s like there were three things
And I have to do the one in the middle
This is my world
And I’m sorry I hurt so many people
Trying to prove it wasn’t
And failing so many times
So many times
June 1, 2014
YOU ARE READING
Poems From Inside Me
PoetryThis is a chapbook of poetry that led me to dedicate myself to writing, whether it be for money or simply to express myself. In this book I talk about family, love, loss and all the illusions that life brings us through.
