Poems From Inside Me

Loneliness Poem

In The End

There are some thoughts that never left my ailing mind

I so dearly wish I could just leave them behind

I was just a boy and I knew this gorgeous thing

I could not have imagined the pain a crush could bring

I realize there is something amiss with my head

Often I've felt I would be better off dead

It's been nearly 30 years since we last had met

And all this time she's been there like a crushing debt

Though I do have a love so real and so true

When it comes to this past one I don't know what to do

I have done what was wanted, I have stayed away

But it seems thoughts of her come up each day

I had known her a little in my early teens

She once saw me stare at her and made a scene

I would have forgotten all about her I guess

But I really don't know if I was cursed or blessed

Because there was a time when I was handsome and grown

And I was drunk at a bar and standing all alone

She was there at that place, more beautiful than before

And she mooned over me and re-opened the door

Then soon after that there came a time I don't mention a lot

My mind became lost, something scrambled my thoughts

I ended up in a place for the insane

And she was in my thoughts all over again

But in a short time I recovered sanity

And was declared fit by the powers that be

Not long after that I met my other half

Who taught me to love, taught me to laugh

And now after years I still talk to her each day

In the back of my head there sometimes seems a way

For my old delusions to come to fruition

Though I long since abandoned those dreams and found religion

Having an illness like mine is having a mind all at war

You can no longer trust your own thoughts to keep score

But all of us struggle with a demon or two

My sweet and true lover this poem goes out to you

And I say to the woman who I wished was mine

I pray that one day you can forgive me that crime

I bear you no ill will, I truly wish you no harm

I just once fell too hard for your beauty and charm

And now as years have gone and we all have grown

I just hope that none will in the end be alone

I pray no one hates me, I pray for love to last

I pray especially for myself to let go of the past

Right now my broken heart is strong and filled with love

Because I have my girl who is a gift from above

Leif Gregersen

May 20, 2014