soulmate ↠ taennie ✓

06: guilt

When I was 6 years old I was awakened from my slumber because I felt a tingling sensation from my wrist. I looked at it and it was a drawing of a unicorn. I was baffled.

Did I draw that? Did I draw it in my sleep?

I didn't really care about it although I was quite curious about it so I asked my parents about it. They told me everything they knew about a soulmate. They teased me and encourage me to draw something back but I just shut them down and told them that I don't believe in something so superstition as fated partners.

She kept on drawing and I just watched. Her drawings are quite random. She once draws the moon and the sun. Some days she would draw a carton of milk. Other days she drew ice cream. She makes it as if her wrist is her canvas. I feel like I know something about her like her favourite must be milk as she always drew a carton of milk.

I never responded to my soulmate. I almost once, every day she would draw hearts and sunshine but today day she drew a sad face with clouds and rain. She must be feeling down. Days after that she drew a broken heart and she didn't draw anything again. She's giving up. She must've grown to hate me now.

But the funny thing is not all soulmate are meant to be together right? From what I heard from mom and dad, they both were not soulmates. Mom's soulmate died when he was in a relationship with mom and dad's soulmate cheated on him. See not all soulmates are meant to be.

I didn't really think too much about soulmates until I met a persistent and annoying girl.

Even if I ignore the girl, she would still talk to me and I wonder why she's so stubborn. Days and months passed the girl became my close friend.

She was a true believer of fate and destiny she believes in true love and I respect her for that. When there's a chance she would talk about various things such as the Ying Yang, red thread of fate and she even seek to find her soulmate.

Thinking that her soulmate would be her first love was wrong. She fell for me. She asked me to be her boyfriend and I agreed although I didn't even have any feelings for her I was hoping maybe somewhere inside of me changed. We would spend days together walking side by side and for someone whose a believer of fate .... she stopped. She falls hard for me ..... and me?

I didn't. I didn't know what's wrong with me.
I didn't even fall for her maybe just maybe I fell in love with the idea of her.
Maybe I was desperate to have someone, as my classmates have found their soulmate. But what difference it would make if I met you, Milk girl? Would you fell for me just because I was destined to be your soulmate ? or would you hate me?

My relationship with her was going downhill. I tried every day to love her but I only love the idea of her and I was frustrated with myself.

We spent 6 months together as partners and I was courting her but the feelings never came.

The 6 months was hell for you. Our love was like playing with fire. Even if you extinguished the fire it would flare even bigger.

"I said I wanted you to stay but you're always leavin'
Never tell me where never tell me what's the reason
When you're gone I can't tell if my heart's even beatin'
Sometimes I think it's just for you that I live and breath in"

You told me that. But I can't. When you're losing yourself. You've changed when you start loving me and I wasn't worth for your love.
Your last request for me. I'll keep it.

"Taehyung, can you do me a favour? Please don't fall in love. Better yet don't ever love someone. You don't have the right to love."