Love Joy

WALKING OUT

Ta-Ta drove as fast as she could. We headed back to her house, so we could pick up the money and drugs I left there. Once inside, I pulled the duffel bag with both the money and drugs in it and placed it on the bed. Ta-Ta was looking nervous as hell and went to the kitchen to retrieve a bottle of Tequila 1800. She came back and poured us two shots.

"Bitch, look I ain't got time to be drinking. I'm trying to get the fuck outta here before the police find out the truth and come arrest my ass."

"Look Love, you need to relax. You are losing your fucking mind. Being nervous and in a rush is gonna do nothing but get you caught. Now chill the fuck out. Take this shot and hit this blunt. Damn, you really tripping."

"Yeah you right Ta. My fault. This whole thing is crazy to me I wanna get as far away from this place as possible." I reached into the duffel bag, grabbed a hand full of hundreds and gave them to Ta-Ta, and told her thanks for all her help.

"No problem sis, you know I got your back. The one thing I don't understand is why did you kill June? You could have just pretended to kill him when Man asked you to do it."

"Yeah I could have, but then I was thinking what if he came back and killed us both later on? Plus, I just lost it. Once I hit him the first time with the gun, I don't quite remember the rest. I do remember putting a couple of bullets in his ass that was overkill, but I needed to know for sure that he was dead, you know, some security. Aye Let me hit that blunt and then lets get the fuck out of here."

45 minutes later we were in the car headed to the Greyhound station. Ta-Ta suggested she should drive me all the way to Detroit since it was only about a half an hour away, but I refused because this bitch and driving didn't mix. All I needed at this point was to get pulled over with a bag full of money and dope. I'd rather take my chances with the bus. Ta-Ta started to slow down and pulled over to the side of the road.

"Bitch what the fuck are you doing? My bus leaves in 15 minutes." I damn near yelled.

Ta-Ta stayed silent until the car came to a complete stop. She took her seat belt off, took her phone out her purse and simply let me hear our whole conversation when we were back at the house about the murders.

"What the fuck is this Ta?"

"Look Love, you know we like family, right?"

"And, bitch, what's your point?" I said, cutting her off.

"Just hear me out please. Give me a chance to speak."

"Okay, but hurry up! My bus is about to leave."

"So, about all that money that you have...I feel like I am entitled to half, if not all. I mean if it wasn't for me you wouldn't even have met Man. Then all this shit coming to get you from the crime scene, letting you stay at my house and all. For the past year you have been all up under him and haven't had shit to say to me. When was the last time you and I even just hung out? Sorry Love, but I feel I need some more of that money. Matter of fact, all of it. You can sell the drugs and make that back plus some. Bottom line is, you can give me what I'm asking for, or I will go to the police with this recording."

"Are you fucking serious bitch??? You cannot be serious right now. After all the shit we have been through. This is what it's come to???"

Ta-Ta just sat there looking at me with a real serious face. I was still in shock thinking to myself this shit is real petty, but you know what? She deserves it, so fuck it. I reached into the back seat and grabbed the duffel bag and placed it on my lap.

"Now look, before I give you this, I just want you to know that I loved you like a sister. Maybe more than my own mother, and all you had to do was ask, instead of black mailing me. I can understand where you're coming from...I guess." She had no idea the whole time I was talking to her, inside the bag, I was clutching the same gun that I killed June with. I took it out and the astonished look on her face told me she hadn't considered this ending any way other than how she planned. I placed that cold steal to the side of her temple and without hesitation, I pulled the trigger. Brain matter sprayed the window and my face. I couldn't believe I just committed another murder. My best friend, at that, but at this point I was trying to save my own ass. I got out of the car, went around to her side and pulled her lifeless body out and down to the side of the road and into the brush. Then I put a blanket she had in the back seat over her along with some leaves, branches and grass. I cried so fucking hard in process of it all. I mean the last thing I wanted to do was kill someone I thought was my best friend. I drove to the nearest gas station to fill her tank up and drive myself the rest of the way because there was no way I was taking the bus now.

By the time I made it to Detroit, it was around midnight. I saw my mothers kitchen light on, but the rest of the house was dark. I walked up to the front door, a little anxious. It had been a long time since I had seen my mother and I really had my hopes up that she had gotten herself together since then. I knocked and got no response. I turned the knob and the door was unlocked, so I let myself in. The house was a mess. Clothes where all on the floor. Soda, beer cans, empty bottles of liquor, dirty dishes, everything was a total mess. No way in hell I was staying here tonight. I made my way to the kitchen and there sat my mother looking like a ghost. She had lost so much weight, I hardly recognized her.

"Mommy" I said.

She didn't respond, then I heard a voice from behind me.

"She don't do much talking these days."

I turned around to find Larry standing there. The fucking bitch that took my virginity at such a young age. I gave him the coldest stare possible. I'm sure he knew why. I turned back to my mother and approached her. She just stared off into space. On the table was a spoon and a needle. I'm sure it was Larry that got her hooked on this shit. I grabbed my mother and hugged her tight. I didn't want to let her go. I knew that once I walked out this time, I was never coming back. I didn't want to see her like this any more.

I whispered in her ear "I love you so much mommy. I forgive you."

She made a slight noise, and when I looked at her, she had tears in her eyes. I placed some money on the table, kissed her cheek, and made my way to the door. Walking out felt like death. I never wanted to leave my mother like that, but I couldn't stay and watch her self destruct either. No looking back, I thought. In one day I lost my boyfriend, best friend and now my mother!

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