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ashton latches onto me, his arms around my neck as he sobs into my shirt. dumbfounded, i just hold him there. calum closes the door and runs to get a towel.

"shhh," i whisper. "it's okay. i've got you." ashton sniffles in response. i lead him over to the coach and sit him down. when calum returns, he drapes the towel over ashton's shoulders.

slowly, we get him to calm down. then calum and michael leave us to talk.

he leans his head on my shoulder, tired. "i'm so sorry," he mumbles. "i shouldn't have left you. i'm not scared of you. it's not you. it-"

"don't over work yourself," i interrupt. "you leaving has been a good thing.. we both got a chance to clear our heads."

he nods, sighing deeply. "i owe you and explanation. and an apology."

"you don't owe me anything right now. i care about your health more than my feelings," i say, wrapping an arm around him in attempt to stop his shivering.

he sighs and nods, looking down. "you're all better now?"

i nod, running a hand through his damp hair. "yeah. calum through my razors away. i can't hurt myself."

"good. i don't want you to.."

"i know. do you want anything?"

"cuddles with you," he mutters with a small smile on his face.

"then that's what you'll get."

i stand up and hold my hand out for him which he takes. silently, i lead him to our room. he pulls off his clothes and replaces them with a pair of boxers and one of my shirts. he climbs under the duvet and i follow. pressing his body closer to me, i wrap my arms around his waist.

"goodnight, ash," i whisper.

"goodnight, luke."

[this is not the end. there is so much more to go through.]

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