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"cal.. he's gonna die because of me," i whisper.

"don't you dare say that."

calum came to found me a little while later.

"he's in a coma, he'll wake up soon," he assures me.

"he might not. it happens. they'll take him off life support and we'll have to let him die."

"don't say that around michael."

"what's the fucking deal with michael?!" i snap. "is he in love with him?!" deep down, i really hope that's not true. but if it is, it can save me from hurting him more.

calum sighs. "michael has a bad past.. ask him about it later."

"he doesn't deserve to be pissed at me. i didn't ask for this," i mutter.

"jack made you like this. why did you ever see him in the first place?"

"jack," i begin, "is a long story. i met him at a club one night and he let me borrow his cigarettes. after that, he gave me his number so i could pay him back. when i did, we ended up smoking about ten packs in five hours. then we went and got drunk and his friend gave him lsd or something. after that, i've been addicted. and it sucks. and ashton is sitting there and he can't do anything about it."

"he loves you. he can't bear to see you hurting."

"he shouldn't love me," i say.

"why?" he asks.

"i'm fading."

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