i wake up to an empty bed and an empty heart. i've never felt this helpless before.
i have to force myself to get up, and without even realizing it, i go to the bathroom and fill the tub.
the clear water filling the cold box calls me, odd enough. i put my hand into the water, making sure it was hot.
then i strip off the boxers i'm wearing and look at my reflection in the mirror.
i'm disgusting. no wonder ashton doesn't want to be around me.
he won't have to worry much longer.
carefully, i get into the tub and sit with my knees to my chest, the tops of my legs coming out of the water.
i'm starting to fade quickly now.
i can feel myself drowning.
the razor blade feels cold against my skin but i don't care.
just before i start my self-punishment, i hear my phone ring. i almost stop then. i almost get out of the tub, hoping that it's calum saying ashton wants to see me.
but i'm doing this for ashton. to help us both.
so i stay in the tub, tears falling down my face now but i don't know when i started crying.
the first cut feels strange. it stings against the cool air for a while, until blood starts trickling down my leg.
the second one feels better, more relief. the feeling gets stronger with every cut i make on my pale body.
soon, the water is red and i'm full on sobbing out for one person.
ashton.
YOU ARE READING
fade ; afi+lrh
Fanfiction"what fades must come back." >> this book was written before the song 'if you don't know' was released, but seems to be closely related. disclaimer: i wrote this in 2014. it's really bad. also the picture used in the cover was created by me and repo...
