Title: Tears
Author: miarosa2011
Rating: 4/10
Status: Work in Progress
Authors Description:
Amanda married John and had a daughter called Rose. Then John told her that he was part of the Jensons (warriors of the dark). Then they took Rose away. Can Amanda save her daughter, or will it all end in tears?
My review of the story:
So i don't like the description... the use of the word 'then' too much annoyed me. Reading the first chapter it was intresting but then seemed to be so fast paced i couldn't even keep up(even after reading it several times) the story is like the description says but could be improved.
My Thoughts:
Love the concept and idea of the story but there is a lot of criticism here too. It should be much longer, explain the finer details (her emotions, surroundings, etc). Also it moves so fast, try to turn it down a little because this story does have potential and could be improved dramatically over time. Also you made simple silly mistakes all over the place which can be fixed easily, go back and fix them all up. If you don't know what i'm talking about get an editor, this story has potential you just need to work with it more.
Pointers to Audience:
- If your into quick, fast, one paged chapter books than this is your book. The book has a good concept and none of you should give up on it :)
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