Title: The Dark Mist
Author: YOLTT95
Rating: 3.5/10
Status: Work in Progress
Authors Description: N/A
My review of the story:
I don't know because the whole book just keeps restating the same question... 'Where am I?' So i think its about a human or an alien or something thats invisible, but it never met a human before. So it finally does and then it gets bitten by a vampire? I DONT KNOW ! SOOOO CONFUSING
My Thoughts:
Hated the concept, I love stories with vampires but I hated your story. The descriptions in chapter one really got me hooked but then it just seemed to drag on for like forever. It seemed like you don't know how to use half of the descriptive words you used in your work. The length was good but it would've been better if it wasn't just filled up with bullshit. The whole concept is complicated and i think you are a good writer(as seen in chapter 1) but maybe the vampire theme isn't for you? Sorry thats just my point of view. Again try reading out your story to yourself and see how it sounds. The grammar here is insufficient but I think this story could be a lot better if you written it properly! Also allow the reader to connect with the characters a little more, get into her thoughts, how she feels, what disturbs her the most. It also lacks a link to the audience, theres no cliff hanger and nothing that drags out to the audience. I liked the beginning of the story but I really think you need an editor.
Pointers to Audience:
- I personally I thought it was average but go ahead and check it out for yourself !
p.s. the review was redone after feedback from audience
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