Chapter 47

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Jake

"Honey I'm going to the shop. Will you be ok?"

"Mum, I think I will cope" I smiled at my Mum as she walked back out of my room. I felt like I was fifteen again. Mum has been great these past few days. I slept most of the time but it was nice having someone else in the house again. I never minded being alone before but since Kate left alone felt like the worst type of life. Since the accident, I've been looking over my life since she left and finally saw how shit it's been without her.

I needed her.

Everything was lifeless before she came along and with her here... she made everything... better. It took me nearly six months to get my head out of my ass and see that my life was better with her in it and that would never change. Regardless if it was a lie or not I knew that we had something special and now I've chucked my pride out of the window I wanted her back.

I don't care anymore. I don't care what people think. I still love her. After everything she did... or didn't do, I don't care. All I care about... is her. I was done pretending I was mad and that I hated her because I didn't. I only acted so vial to her because I was heartbroken. No one has ever broken my heart before. I didn't know what to do or how to act about it all.

All I knew now was that I couldn't live like this anymore. The endless thoughts that haunted my mind over why she did what she did. They were driving me crazy! But if she wanted to be with me, if she wanted to start again, I could let go of everything and be with her.

I needed to see her. I needed to tell her...talk with her.

I turned my phone back on and saw the texts that were flying in from friends asking if I was ok. I ignored them all and called the only number I had that I could think of to get hold of her.

"Hello, Millie's bakery" a guy answered the phone. I went silent not knowing what to say "Hello?" he said again.

"Hi is Kate there?" I finally spoke.

"She's just in the office I'll put you through" she's there? My heartbeat hard in my chest. "Who's speaking?" he asked. Oh shit, I didn't think of that. Would she agree to speak if she knew it was me?

"Hmmm... Chris" I lied, shaking my head at my cowardice.

"I'll put you through," he said in a chipper tone. The phone made a beeping sound as I was being transferred through. I cleared my throat and thought a hundred things at once that I wanted to say to her. I started practising on how I was going to say hello. "Hi... Hey... Hello"

"Hey, Chris is everything ok?" I heard her voice on the other side of the phone and I froze. I felt a lump tighten in my throat as I lost all control of speech. I was acting worse than when I was twelve years old talking to a crush. "Chris?" she said again.

"It's not Chris it's me," I said finally after a long pause which she now kindly returned.

"Jake..." she whispered. She was shocked I called... hell I was shocked I called. This wasn't going well I thought.

"You're most likely wondering why I'm calling you" I don't know why I did it but I let out a nervous laugh as I spoke in a higher-pitched voice. Oh, bloody hell I was so nervous. I really was acting like a twelve-year-old.

"Yeah... how are you?" her voice sounded different too.

"I'm ok. Lucky I've got a thick skull" I laughed seriously again.

"Jake..." she moaned. I know she didn't want to talk to me by her tone.

"I heard you came to see me," I said as I hear her take in a gasp.

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