In Sickness and In Health

The Letter

Cole POV

I am just waiting for her to be be called to see how the operation went and to say I'm scared is underplaying the situation completely. I absolutely petrified of losing my best friend, my soulmate and my darling wife, Lili. Her parents are due to fly in the next hour or two.
Poor Lili was definitely looking miserable today. Her hands were frailty and caution, shaking gently as she reached for anything whether it was a magazine or a glass. In her movements were so much of the woman she was and still is. They were ashen where the sunlight caught them, not ghostly like a white person, just subdued and greyish. I think that's the first time I realised how vulnerable she was and how much of a toll the cancer has taken out of her.

She headed in about thirty minutes ago and I'm just waiting patiently, I doze of for an hour as I'm exhausted on one of hospital chairs. I was tired as hell, weary with the burden of long-closed eyes,I could of easily pulled off being a walking zombie, dead on the inside but subconsciously awake incase a doctor calls me or Lili's parents arrive...

I wake suddenly, every thought in high definition. My eyes take in every ray of light and without a doubt I know I've slept too long. I turn to my left and Lili's parents Amy and Dan are beside me.

"You okay Cole, you have been sleep since two and it's just half seven." Her Dad speaks out from his science fiction book.

"Yeah I'm fine, " I say in a yawn "what's that?" I ask her Mom,  Amy. I know what it is but I feel the need to ask.

"The Letter, that um Lili left for you incase of em you know." She says sniffling a little.

"You meant, mean a lot to her Cole, we will never forget that. She left a bunch of letters to everyone but your the only one she had a full letter to. Myself and Amy shared one, she left a joint one to Tess and Chloe and she gave a paragraph to everyone else she was close with but she left this for you." Her Dad says handing me my letter still sealed and its envelope. He has been crying as well. I take my letter and tell her parents that I'm going to the bathroom.

I walk past the toilets and ask at reception is there a room I can go where I could be alone. The lady a reception smiles and shows me to a room where they keep all the cleaning supplies. I slump down and tear open the envelope.

    Dear Cole,

I am writing this in case the inevitable happens, I just want you to know I loved from you from the very first day we met, April seventeenth 2016 in the Los Angeles Taco Bell, hard to believe that was over seven years ago now. I remember our every day together and apart over the past seven years.  I remember being in Taco Bell in Los Angeles while eating my burrito and sipping on my Mountain Dew and reading my book I placed down my book and caught you gazing at me, I gazed back wondering what was Cole Sprouse doing looking at me and then I had to leave for my audition for Riverdale. I thought I would never see your handsome face and goofy smile again but then we crossed paths two weeks later. I had been chosen to play Betty Cooper on Riverdale and you Jughead Jones. The Romeo to my Juliet.
   
  I remember our first date and our first kiss at the Orchard in downtown LA eating pasta Alfredo and enjoying your company and finding you so dashingly handsome. Our first kiss outside the Orchard, I remember my palms sweating and my heart beating rapidly and pounding and you kissing my cold lips and making me feel instantly all toasty inside. I remember our first fight, two months into our relationship I felt hurt and protrayed but you made it all better with some Taco Bell and some Lunchables.

I remember our first adventure together, Squampton. A freezing cold day so you lent me your blue and black striped blanket as we gazed on top of a hill and I remember our last - our short break to Cape Cod bringing Theo with us. Speaking of Theo do you remember when we first adopted him, in the Vancouver animal shelter. He was the only one in the whole shelter who kept licking my hands with his great big tongue so we brought him home and he's been with us well now you for almost four years. You showed me so much of this phenomenal world and for that I will be eternally grateful.

I remember the first time you met my parents you were so nervous about it and of course they adored you just like I adored you. I remember the first time I met your dad and Chrissy, you spent the whole time making sure I was okay helping Chrissy in the kitchen making dinner while you played old video games with your dad. I remember when we began to look at houses in New York. Do you remember the shady relator Jason Forbes? He was hopeless with his dodgy dealings and not knowing a clue about Manhattan at all. Until you found our home, an old townhouse in Harlem. We did it up as it needed to be repaired very badly but within eight weeks of finding it and doing it up it was our home. Do you remember Simone came over to introduce herself and you were in awe of her as you had read a few of her pieces while she was with the New York Times, the first time I ever saw you star struck  and you loved her even more when she had made us cookies, "the best cookies in the world" according to you, you wouldn't rest until she gave you the recipe and you made them yourself but they weren't the same and when you asked Simone, she laughed and said it must be her South African touch.

I remember when you came home from photography studio after another day of scam artists ringing you to say they would like to use you and you were frustrated but I told you everything will work out in the end, you kissed me and surely enough the next day Vogue booked you for the cover shoot.

I remember the day you proposed and while we were waiting you impersonating that old married couple once we got in that hot air balloon in Vancouver it was pure bliss soaking in the fresh air and the glorious views, till you called on me and there you were down on one knee looking damn right gorgeous and you asked me to be your wife and of course I said yes and I began to cry happy tears and kissed you all over. I remember the day I was diagnosed, I felt like shit and keeping  it from you was heartbreaking as I drank my sorrows away when I knew you were my husband and you would love me no matter what.

But Cole most importantly, I love and I will always love you. That means I would defend you with my life even if the odds were insurmountable. It means I will comfort you in the difficult and painful times. It means I will dance and rejoice with you when times are good. It means I will never betray you, never give up on you. I might not be here in person but I will be always there if you need me,

And Cole

I want you to know that even though we only had a short but incredible seven years together I just want to you to be happy that's all I want. Whether that means to move on and find a new spouse to call your "Sprouse Spouse" or living alone but with sixteen dogs and cats like you said you wanted to do when you were younger to escape the likes of school and Dylan teasing and tormenting you
I will always love you and live a good life,

Your wife,

Lili.

I folded over the letter and just took a deep breath trying to stop the tears falling but I couldn't, my lips began to tremble and quiver and I slumped down in a poorly ventilated cleaning supplies room and cried for what seemed like an eternity. I can't and won't believe it, Lili is my wife not was. I'm going to miss her smile, her laugh her beautiful green eyes, her bubbly personality and her wit. But I am truly just having her around, I don't think I will be able to move on as she was the love of my life, she is an amazing woman who I am so proud to call my wife. She was and still is the most beautiful woman in this world...

Hey guys thanks to everyone who is reading and thank you for 3K reads! You guys at the reason I keep going! And no you're not the only one is crying so don't worry.
Love you all
L 💗