In Sickness and In Health

Falling

Lili POV

We're on our way back from a long weekend away to Cape Cod and heading back to the busy city of New York. I had a fantastic time  away and I'm sure Cole did too, on our last night he treated me to dinner in a restored lighthouse now a Michelin star restaurant called the Highland Light, the food was beyond exquisite, I ate as much as I possible could, my appetite is slowly improving probably because I haven't had any treatment since last Monday but I'm not complaining as it will probably disappear again tomorrow after radiation.

Cole had this fancy fish dish I can't quite remember the name of it but it arrived on a long and narrow plate with mini pieces of haddock, cod and salmon all covered in an array of herbs and spices and some sort of pickled beetroot thing, I didn't try any as I'm not the biggest of fan of fish but Cole seemed to rather enjoy it.

We laughed and talked all evening about Chloe and Chris' big day and Tess' college experience while Cole and I sipped champagne, I know I shouldn't have but I felt like indulging a little bit and as the saying goes you only live once. After that we went for long walk along Nauset Beach and it was glorious. We then headed back to the hotel and hung out in the lounge and watched the hotels jazz band serenade the night away.

We have only have about half an hour left of driving as we are just coming up to  Triborough Bridge, it was great to get away just the two of us for some "us" time. We don't get enough of it lately due to everything that is going on I know its understandable given the circumstances but I miss having Cole around me at times.

He comes to most of my doctors appointments and nearly all of my radiation therapy and chemotherapy sessions but it's not the same when your husband is watching you being injected with various different drugs or a doctor prescribing more. He's there for me as a shoulder to cry on and support me to which I really appreciate , I remember one time he fell asleep on the chair beside me in my hospital bed, I had woke in the middle of the night and I thought needed the toilet and there was Cole leaning to the left of the crappy wooden hospital chair, his head slightly tilted and his perfect hair all over the place and his book folded over on his lap, I kissed his cheek softly and placed a blanket over him, he responded in a subtle grin while in the trance of dreaming  and I drifted of to sleep again not needing the toilet just the reassurance of my husband being with me.

Coles decided he was the one that was going to drive as he was determined to drive after I drove on the way down and I'm kinda glad as I'm very tired and feeling slightly faint but I think it's just due to exhaustion and dehydration.

We sing along to the late Whitney Houston's "I will always love you" and I begin to get a small bit emotional as I will always love Cole no matter what, he's the most caring guy you will ever come across , he always knows what's best for you even if you don't always agree with him, deep down you know that he has your best interests at heart.

He has this way about him that makes you feel at ease and relaxed but he has his low points like everyone, I remember when we had just begun dating he was scared and anxious as he was apprehensive about dating again after his college girlfriend Bree,  he said that their relationship was complicated as she suffered from terrible depression herself like myself and she didn't know how to control it and he was in a depression himself, he said that they both let their depression consume them and in the end their relationship became toxic and their breakup was bitter on both sides. They had both said and done things they didn't mean but what he said what him the hardest was when she accused him of "abusing" her not long after they parted ways.

Cole would never intentionally hurt anyone and he told me his side of the story and I know Cole. He , Dylan and his dad told me he was honestly was very emotionally distraught after the whole thing, it made him think more about sharing his personal life to the public as he said he didn't mind at the time Bree posting their love all over the world for the world to see but seeing those reposted everywhere and him
labelled an "abuser" made their breakup even more difficult.

But he told me that I was to never worry about that with me, he told me if I ever needed to talk or tell him something I should be frank and just tell him the truth even if I'm feeling down and I told him the same thing because that's what an honest relationship and marriage is, I delayed telling him about me being sick because I was terrified myself about what could happen but I told him as soon as I had sobered up. I recall the morning after our fight , I needed to clear the air so I decided I would tell him that morning in our local coffee shop. The waiting for him to arrive was petrifying.
I didn't know if he was going to show up or anything as he can be somewhat headstrong at times but when I told him he couldn't have been more caring when I told him the heartbreaking news.

As the song draws to a close my eyes well up with tears a combination of happy and sad and then my eyesight began to blur but not because tears were welling up. Everything became fuzzy, then I saw nothing at all. My consciousness was floating through an empty space filled with a thick static. I couldn't control it I couldn't speak, throughout the inky space my heartbeats pounding loudly, echoing in my ears, alongside fading pleas for help. As if I'm falling through mid air, feeling  in my body drained away until finally all was black...

Hey guys thank you so much for 2K reads! That's insane! Any suggestions just DM me!
Lots of love
L💗