s e r e n d i p i t y

Serendipity ⚓ Thirteen

serendipity ⚓ thirteen

          Those little kisses you stole, they held my heart and soul. I looked forward to those rare moments of affection. You would smile at me and realize exactly where you were and who you were with, you would lean into me and kiss my collar bone gently.

          I know we are all a little lovesick here, it is the human condition. No matter how much we'll try to deny it, we are functioned to need each other and to be needed.

          I remember the first kiss, like any first kiss you share with someone you want, it got to me in a heart beat. It felt almost like magic to taste you on my tongue. As dysfunctional as you were, Seth, you were undoubtedly the most handsome man I had ever laid eyes on. You were beautiful in the most simple form of the term. And ever since then, I had been yours.

          I realize — with shame— that as unhealthy as it was to be with you, I was never going to just up and leave. That if you were to leave, I would run to you without a second thought. Because I was scared, and you became an element of my world I was familiar with.

          Mama used to say that if anyone ever laid a finger on my head, I should pack my bags and run. But everyone says that. Everyone sees a dysfunctional person and tells them things will get better. Everyone tells you to be strong but nobody admits that falling apart is okay. I wondered where she was—my mama, worried sick.

        That night you found a lovely place to sleep, it wasn't great but to our standards it was marvelous. I turned on a tv for the first time in weeks that day, and immediately turned it off as I saw my name flash across the local news channel.

          Mama was looking for me.