Forever Yours

Small Moments Mean Everything

Raven

I sighed as I ran my fingers through my hair.  I glanced in the mirror of the bathroom.  "Get a grip Raven." I told my reflection.

Why I was saying this - and in this situation - was because, contrary to what I'm pretty sure is popular belief, Luna and I had never been intimate.  Well, beyond make out sessions.  But I mean like doing it intimate.

This was not the first time I'd stood in front of the mirror yelling at myself to get a grip on my body and mind's desires.  I was ready but I'm fairly sure she isn't.

Sighing I turned and made my way out of the bathroom.  Of course tonight was one of those nights where Luna wore that kind of night clothes.

Her shirt was just a little too short and revealed part of her stomach and her pants hugged her legs.

I felt my mouth go dry.  "Bad Raven!  Bad Raven!  Get your head out of the gutter!  She's not ready!" I screamed at myself to no avail.

"Is everything alright Raven?" She asked softly.  She was so innocent.  She had no idea what she did to me sometimes.  I loved her and everything about her but sometimes I really didn't appreciate the things she could do to me.

"Yeah, I'm fine." I replied, diverting my gaze.

"I know you're lying Raven." Luna said worriedly.

"Really Luna," I looked back at her, my heart thumping in my chest.  I hated lying to her like this.  Something was certainly not fine in the fact that I felt like this but was too scared to act on it for fear of hurting her or pushing her too far.  "I'm fine." I said in my most convincing voice.

Her frown, however, did not disappear and it was clear she knew I was lying.  "Please Raven, what's wrong?" She stepped forward, reaching out her hand.

"Nothing Luna!  It's nothing!" I snapped.  The urge to be intimate with her was stronger tonight than it ever had been and I was scared that if I didn't figure out someway to get some time to breath and calm myself down I'd do something I'd regret.

Hurt flashed across her features, "Raven, I-"

"Just stop Luna!" I snapped, taking a step back.  At this point, I wasn't just scared of hurting her by going too far, I was scared of what I was feeling.

I could see the hurt painted vividly across her features as she dropped her arm back to her side and stepped away.  "I just want to help." She whispered, meeting my gaze.

I squeezed my eyes closed and then opened them, "I know Luna.  But you can't." I said softly.

"Why?" Her eyes shown with fear and concern and she looked desperate to some extent.

"Because Luna," I shook my head, "I don't want to hurt you."

Now she looked really concerned, "Raven you can't hurt me.  Please, what's wrong?  At least let me try to help."

"I don't want to go too far for you Luna, I don't want to scare you." I said quietly, almost pleaded.

She looked confused now, "What do you mean?"

"I want you Luna." I said, desperately trying to get my point across.

"I am yours." She said worriedly, frowning again.

"Not that way Luna." I said desperately.

Realization flashed in her eyes.  "Raven, it's okay." She said softly.

I didn't understand.  At least that was the case until she took her shirt off and I felt my mouth go dry.

She smirked as she noticed my reaction, my eyes raking over the exposed top half of her body.  And she had abs.  I don't know why that surprised me but it did. I licked my lips, trying to wet them to no avail.

She chuckled and stepped towards me, making sure to move her hips (dear gods she's torturing me!), "Now, what were you so scared of?" She asked once she was right in front of me, her breath bathing my face.

I couldn't form a coherent sentence in my brain, let alone out loud.  Rather than replying I pushed my lips to hers.  It was gentle yet rough at the same time.  There was longing on both sides as well as passion.

She tugged on my shirt and I broke the kiss long enough to let her get me out of it.  After that our lips were locked together and I slowly pushed her back towards our bed.

  ------------------------------  

I stirred slowly.  I was laying on top of Luna, who was still sleeping.  I smiled as I remembered the previous night, sighing softly.  Raising my head I had to bite my tongue to stop from laughing.  Luna had a large hickey on her neck, though she might be able to cover it (I highly doubt that she can hide the whole thing).

Smiling, I slipped from bed and crossed the room to the closet - grabbing out some clothes.  Slipping them on, I decided to go see how bad my own hickeys were.  Glancing towards Luna to make sure she was still sleeping peacefully, I headed into the bathroom.

To my surprise I didn't have any really.  Well, except that large one on the base of my jaw.  "No way to hide that." I thought.  Then smiled as another thought struck me.  Now no one could question whether we were indeed each others'.

I exited the bathroom and settled on the couch, perking up when I heard laughter outside.

"Bellamy!  Come on!  Everyone is still sleeping!" A woman laughed.

"So?  They're sleeping in!  It's not my fault I don't!" Bellamy said and I could hear the grin in his voice.

"What if someone sees us?" She fretted.

"I don't care what anyone else thinks.  If they want to banish me from Skaikru because of this, then so be it.  I'm tired of living for them.  I want to live for myself, do something because I want to do it, be with who I want to be with." Bellamy stated.

"I'm not worth your Clan Bellamy."

"You are to me.  You're worth the world to me."

"I love you."

"I love you too." He chuckled, "Now come on or I'm going to beat you!"

I heard laughter again and then racing footsteps.

Suddenly I realized I hadn't even stood so Bellamy's girlfriend was to remain a mystery.

Luna stirred and I smiled, going over to the bed.  "Morning." I said softly.

"Morning." She replied, smiling at me.  "Please tell me last night wasn't a dream."

"It wasn't." I said smiling, moving my head so that she could see her work.

She giggled, "Sorry."

"I'm proud to wear it." I huffed.

She laughed, "Do I have any?"

I nodded, "Yep." I carefully pointed to hers and she laughed again.

"What am I going to do with you?" She teased.

I shrugged, "I don't know.  But you've got the rest of your life to figure it out." I said, smiling.

Her breath hitched and she smiled softly, "The rest of our lives?"

"Of course." I said, leaning down to press a soft kiss to her lips.  "Now come on, I'm hungry." I said, making her laugh.

"Alright, alright." She laughed, slipping out of bed.  I didn't even try to pretend that I didn't watch her dress.  "Ready for breakfast ai hodnes (my love)?" She asked, extending her hand to me.

"When you are hodnes (love)." I said softly, smiling at her and accepting the hand.

She smiled back and led us out of the room.