Forever Yours

The Ark

Raven (I couldn't resist, I have to finish writing this part, I can't leave it unwritten)

I sit on the couch and wait patiently for Luna to return.  I have faith that she will - though she can't really go anywhere.  My leg feels about ten times better than it ever has - since the incident at least - and I noticed earlier that it's a lot easier to bend it (part way).  I can bend it to about half of forty-five degrees without any problems when I'm sitting and when I'm standing it's easier as well, though I can't pick up my foot enough to get my foot off the floor more than maybe an inch to an inch and a half.

Luna reenters the room, a deep-in-thought look on her face that makes me worry.

"Is everything okay?" I ask, worry in my stomach as I instantly fear the worst (it's become automatic).

"Yes, everything is fine." She said.  I could tell it was only half of the truth and I raised my eyebrow at her.  She sighed, "Clarke told me more about Finn." She said, her voice quiet as if she suddenly felt she knew something she shouldn't and I could see the fear in her eyes as she met my own.

I swallowed thickly.  I had wanted to tell her - I wanted to tell her everything about me - but I hadn't known how or when.  I guess Clarke made it now - which helps me not chicken out of it at least.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked.  I should have just let it go and wai-" She sounded like she thought she'd done something wrong and I realized I hadn't spoken back.

I interrupted her, "Luna." Her gaze jerked up from where it had fallen to the floor to meet mine, guilt in her eyes, "It's okay.  I wanted to tell you about Finn - about my past - I just don't know how or where to start." I paused, trying to decide the least harsh way to put this, "I'm scared that when I tell you this you're going to leave." I said quietly.

Her eyes widened and she hurried over sitting beside me and I could feel her worry. "I won't do that to you Raven.  I'm here for you, whenever you're ready to tell me.  Nothing you do or say could make me leave you - especially if you're willing to stay by me after everything I've done." She said, resting a hand on my thigh.

I smiled slightly at her, "Really?" I felt like I was dreaming and at any second I'd wake up and she'd be gone.

"I promise." She says softly, honesty in her voice and devotion in her gaze.

I take a deep breath, "She probably only told you about Earth, right?"

"She only told me about Finn on the ground." She said.

I nodded, "When I was young my mother literally hated me.  I don't know who my father was but I know he was some guy she spent the night with to get more alcohol.  She never meant to have me and she never wanted me." I closed my eyes, a shudder running down my back as I remembered the woman, "She was almost always either drunk or not around.  When she was around I lived in terror.  She hated me and everything to do with me.  She said I was a waste of space, oxygen, food, and everything else that I used up in space.  Sometimes she would get abusive and actually hit me - and I don't mean like someone might spank a child for being disobedient." I said.  By now I was shaking and Luna was holding me close.  I couldn't be sure if I was crying or not but I didn't care.

"It was like that for the first thirteen years of my life.  I had always been the smartest kid in my class.  I learned how to work the airlocks and a bunch of other technology as well, I always loved mechanics.  After one really bad night where she'd beaten me almost senseless I left and went to one of them, I was planning to float myself to escape her - I didn't know what else to do." I paused again, allowing myself to return to my surroundings for a moment.  At this point Luna was holding me so that there was no space between us and tightly - almost as if she thought that if she didn't hold me tightly I'd disappear.  I knew I was crying and I was still shaking.