My Worst Nightmare and My Sweetest Dream

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"I hate that I wasn't here to witness that!" Mom exclaims, meaning Dad embarrassing me in front of my date.

Speaking of my date- we've been texting nonstop all weekend. I'll admit I'm not really into the way he texts but I will gladly stomach it for the man of my dreams. He invited me to go to his game on Thursday against the Jaguars.

I hate their cheerleading team because my cousin (who will be playing in the game Thursday) has slept with all of them; they hate me because I tried to point out that they're all hideous skanks. I invited Meg and Dev though, so that should be interesting.

Today is a family day, like most Sundays are. My grandma is sitting with my mom and I, a fresh batch of cookies cooling. My mom has been inquiring details about Matthew all morning. I would have gladly had her home instead of my dad Friday. I'll keep in mind to tell him later times for future dates. My stomach flutters at the thought of future dates.

"I always knew he'd be just like Andrew." My grandma admits, laughing to herself.

"It's not funny!" I exclaim. My voice squeaks and they both laugh at me. I pretend to sulk for a moment before breaking into a fit of giggles.

"It is! Admit it, your father is so goofy!" Mom cracks up, thinking of all the stupid things he's done I'm sure. I don't see him the way she does obviously, and many little things he does bother me, but he is goofy in his own way by being so serious all the time.

Matt is kind of like him, if I think about it. They're more similar than I ever really realized. Matthew seems pretty serious, though I have seen glimmers of silly while he's being flirty. I think only time will tell whether or not we'll be anything serious ourselves. I hope beyond hope we work out.

My grandma calls me out on spacing out by chucking a cookie at my forehead.

"Ow!" I yell, swiping chocolate off my forehead with my finger and licking it off. "You'll pay for that!" She shakes her head and eats a cookie. I grab the one from the table and eat it.

"Nutritious breakfast," I comment to my mom, who rolls her eyes and shrugs.

"You eat what you want to eat," she says with attitude. I grab another cookie deliberately and she laughs. "Alright then, fatty, keep the implicative comments to yourself." I cringe, because I know I am about to look really extremely stupid.

"Mom?" I ask, hesitating because I'm not sure if I want to do this.

"Yes babe?" She looks so ready to be helpful I have to ask now.

"What's implic-" I stutter, "implic-" I look away blushing. My mom and grandma laugh hard while I sit there and pretend I don't want to cry. I'm not proud of being...not smart.

As good as I've been doing this year, I'm still stupid. I'm not looking forward to my report card on Tuesday. If it's bad I don't know what my parents will do. I feel bad letting my mom down because she's really smart. I feel bad letting my dad down because he expects me to do better than he did. The only problem is my brain just does not have the power of will or ability.

"What's implicative?" She finishes my question, and I nod, swallowing hard. "Honey, implicative is another form of the word imply. It means to say something indirectly through context." I know she doesn't mean to hurt my feelings: I've seen her do this with my dad and her friends. Normally she's super patient, understanding, and considerate. It's just her knee-jerk reaction to laugh when someone doesn't know a word that's been in her vocabulary since she was in elementary school.

"Sorry," I murmur. When she sees I'm upset, she touches my hand and apologizes multiple times. Like I said, I know she didn't mean to but it still hurt. My mom hands me a cookie as a peace offering. I accept while laughing because I know it'll stay within the family and I won't be publicly humiliated.

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