👶🏻 One: Welcome Home 👶🏻

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Fun Fact: 'Shuuji (Shūji)' was the real name of the actual Dazai, 'Dazai Osamu' was only a pen name.


"SHUUJI! Come here!" you cried out as you chased your nude 18-month-old son around the house.

"Hahahahaha!" your son giggled as he ran a circle around the dining room table before heading into the living room, throwing his tiny arms up in triumph of being uncatchable by his mother.

You were getting Shuuji ready for bed when he suddenly jumped onto his feet and sped off before you managed to put on his diaper let alone pajamas, thus resulting in your son's abrupt nudity.

Your eyebrow twitched in chagrin and you let out a low grumble as you charged into the living room. You halted at the doorway to find your son running around the room in incomprehensible, invisible patterns while laughing like a giddy maniac... which reminded you an awful lot of his father.

That wasn't much of a surprise though since Shuuji took mostly after your husband, Dazai; he inherited his unruly dark chocolate locks, his shiny mocha eyes, and of course, his loud yet infectious laugh. He was basically a miniature replica of his father, except he had yet to show any signs of suicidal tendencies which Dazai was infamous for. You, being his mother who cared for his well-being, prayed every day to God that Shuuji wouldn't become a suicide maniac like his father. But it was apparent that genes ran deeper than any miracle God could grant so it would only be a matter of time until...

You were ripped away from your thoughts as you heard the front door open and your husband's voice booming through the whole house.

"I'M HOME-" Dazai called but stopped when Shuuji crashed into his incredulously long legs. The suicidal detective glanced down at his feet to find his son lying on the floor in nothing but the smooth skin that he was born with.

Shuuji had both his tiny hands on his forehead where he must've injured during his unexpected hit into his father. The little baby boy let out helpless whimpers of pain as he tried his hardest not to burst into tears.

Sensing his son's distress but strength to restrain himself, Dazai's lips tugged into a soft smile as he bent down to reach for his son. "My, my, my, what have you been up to when I'm away, son?"

He smoothed the boy's identical wavy locks and was about to pull him into his arms when you suddenly came rushing towards your son with outstretched arms. Acting on reflex, Dazai leaned back slightly to allow room you to lift Shuuji from the floor and cradle him in your arms.

You sighed as you pried your son's hands away from his aching forehead to see how bad a damage was done. Luckily, there was neither any bruising nor redness; it was simply nothing more than a small knock to the head. You exhaled a sigh of relief.

"Not wanting to trouble you with such a serious matter after only getting home from work, but do you mind explaining to me why instead of getting an endearing kiss from my ever-lovely wife, I come home only to collide with my son who is unexpectedly naked?" your husband asked with a cock of his head and an amused smile.

"I'm sorry, Osamu," you began apologetically. "I was trying to get Shuuji ready for bed but he ran off before I could even get him into a new diaper!"

"I see..." Dazai said, clearly amused.

Before you could reply, you heard Shuuji sniffle. You looked down at your son to find his big brown eyes filled with tears yet he still wouldn't allow himself to shed a single drop. Shaking your head, you placed a gentle kiss on his little forehead.

"You're such a brave little boy for not crying, Shuuji," you murmured to him in a soft voice. "Daddy's legs must've been really hard and hitting them must've hurt really bad."

Shuuji gave a light nod and sad pout.

"Hey!" Dazai exclaimed, outraged that the two of you would speak badly of him when he was right next to you.

You simply ignored him and said to your son, "Now let's get you into some clothes before you catch a cold."

Just when you were about to turn away and head back to Shuuji's room, your suicidal husband's voice stopped you.

"Oh, (Y/ N)-san~" he said in a sing-song voice. "Are you forgetting something?"

Rolling your eyes, you turned to face your him and stood on your tiptoes to place a swift peck on his smiling lips. "Welcome home, Osamu."

But before you could pull away, Dazai smirked and whispered into your ear, "You know, I'd rather come home to you naked next time."

Your face burned a hundred shades of crimson at his abrupt and inappropriate words. You quickly covered your son's ears and rushed out of the living room. "Dazai, you're such a perverted bastard!"

However, instead of being offended by your insult, the suicidal detective simply chuckled.

"It's certainly good to be back home."

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