Everlasting

Chapter 40

"Am I in trouble?" Willow asks as she sits back down at the table.

"No, Willow. You are definitely not in trouble," Peeta tells her. "We just need to talk to you for a second."

"Oh," Willow says. "Well, you'd better hurry 'cause my toys will get mad if I don't play with them for a long time."

Peeta and I can't help but to laugh at her.

"Willow, I'm pretty sure your toys will forgive you," I tell her.

Willow shrugs her little shoulders. "I guess they will."

"Don't worry," Peeta laughs. "We'll try to make this quick so you can play a while before bed time."

"Well, what's wrong?" Willow asks. Peeta looks at me and takes a deep breath.

"You remember how I told you about the Hunger Games the other day?"

"Yeah," Willow says as she nods her head at Peeta.

"Well," I say softly. "There's a few things Daddy didn't tell you because he was waiting on me so we could tell you together."

I look over at Peeta, and he nods his head.

"Willow, Daddy and I…" I stop and look back at Peeta for support. He reaches across the table and takes my hand in his, intertwining our fingers together and giving my hand a squeeze. I take a deep breath and look back over at Willow.

"Daddy and I were… um…" All words leave me as I stare at my little girl's innocent face. My child who will never have to live through what we lived through, yet she still has to learn about all the struggles we faced to get here.

Willow looks at me expectantly, but it's like I'm frozen. Peeta gets up out of his seat and comes over to my side of the table. He kneels down beside of me and wraps his arms around my shoulders.

"If you want to go lay Rye down, I can handle this," Peeta tells me softly in my ear so Willow won't hear him.

I shake my head. "We agreed to do this together, Peeta, and I won't back out on you."

"Just remember, Katniss, Willow will understand when we tell her," Peeta says. "It's already happened and we can't change that, but we have to tell her. I'll tell her if you want me to."

"No," I say as I shake my head a little. "I can do this." I look back over at Willow who is patiently waiting.

"Are you sure?" Peeta asks. I nod my head and take another deep breath.

"Honey, Daddy and I need you to know that we were both in the Hunger Games," I finally tell Willow.

Her eyes widen, and my heart literally drops. What if she has the wrong attitude about all of this? We don't want her to be scared about it all, but we also don't want her to think that this is something to be proud of.

"Really?" Willow asks after a long, really uncomfortable pause.

Peeta and I both slowly nod our head.

"Twice," Peeta adds. Willow lets this sink in for a few minutes.

Willow looks up at me. "Momma, you've killed people?"

Tears form in my eyes, and I feel myself go into panic mode.

I barely nod my head before I push Rye into Peeta's arms.

"I can't do this," I say as I stand up out of my chair. I leave the kitchen and go upstairs to our bedroom. I shut the door behind me and sit down on the bed.

I start hyperventilating as my hands start shaking.

I can't believe my daughter just asked me that question, even though I knew it was bound to happen. I also can't believe that I had to tell her yes.