jealousy || L.H

9.

           

After that everything was just chaotic. Police came and took Ashton. Ambulance came and brought Luke and Calum. I was left together with Michael and many strangers just watching me sitting on the ground. Michael got down beside me.
"Ari, come on, let's go to the apartment" He said and I nodded. Michael told everyone to fuck off and we walked home. I couldn't stop looking at my hands. It has Luke's blood on them. My dress has Luke's blood on it. My legs, my face, my hair. Everything had Luke's blood on it. Michael took my hand and we walked to my apartment.
We got up and he helped me wash it all off. I couldn't talk. What's wrong with him? What the hell is wrong with Ashton.
"Get in the shower Ari, just wash yourself. My mum is picking us up, we're going to the hospital" I just nodded. He went out and closed the door. I didn't even lock it. I got undressed and I got in the shower.

"Luke Hemmings" Michael said to the lady in the reception.
"Are you family?" She asked.
"Yes"
"Name"
"Michael Clifford and Ariana Greenwich"
"You're not family then"
"We're the closes to family he have" Michael said annoyed. I still haven't been able to say something, Michael just dragged me around like a balloon.
"Corridor F, Room 4, he's not ready for guests but you can wait outside" The woman said and Michael grabbed my hand. We walked through the long white corridors. We got to the F corridor and we saw Calum.
When he saw us he stood up.

"Thank god you're here" Calum said when he saw us.
"What did they say about his injuries?" Michael asked while I looked down at the floor. I sat down on the sofa outside the room.
"They said it looked fine, they just had to clean him and stitch him up. I just hope they check his brain, so everything is fine in there. I think they also said that his nose was broken" Calum said. His voice was shaky. They hugged. I also need a hug.

"We need to check on Ashton" Calum said after a while.

"No, we fucking don't" I said. I hadn't talked for about two hours now. But no. Ashton can be left in a cell for 3 years if you ask me.

"Ariana.. What he did was wrong but he is still the same Ashton, that loves you" Calum said.

"That's the problem here" I said and looked up at them. "He loves me. He never stopped liking me and now he is in love with me, and he is a jealous cunt that don't want me to be with other guys." I said, I had to breath. I took a deep breath. "And that's why he hurt Luke. Because Luke liked me back, he is the first one liking me back that I actually felt a real connection to, from day one" I finished talking and I rested my back against the back rest. Calum didn't answer. We all sat quiet for a long time.

We sat there for hours. This is not how I pictured the new year to start. I fell asleep about 4 am.
I woke up in Michael's lap. I was holding him like he was a stuffed animal. He was on his phone.
"What's the time?" I asked. He looked down at me and smiled.
"1 pm" He said and I sat up slowly.
"Shit... that's late" I said and looked around. No Calum.
"Where's Cal?" I asked and took my phone up. About 50 messages from Ashton.
"He went to the police place to check on Ashton" He answered and looked down at his phone again.
"Oh" I just said and started to read Ashton's messages.

'Ariana I fucked up big time'
'Ariana please come and get me'
'Ariana I am so sorry for what I did'
'Please don't hate me'
That's how all the messages looked like, him begging me for forgiveness. What made me not want to forgive him was the fact that he never mentioned Luke. He could at least ask how he is, if he's alive.
My phone vibrated again.
'I love you Ariana'
No. No no no Ashton. I love him to bits but not like he loves me. I don't want him to love me.

A doctor walked in to Luke's room and came back out after 10 minutes.
'Ariana, I'm home now. Calum is here, please come home. We need to talk'
"Luke is awake now, you can go inside and talk to him for a bit. Be calm, due to his condition. He is a bit shaky still" The doctor said and walked away. I stood up fast and opened the door. Luke was sitting in his bed and looked up at me. Right when our eyes met I remembered the feeling I had when I kissed him.
He smiled but then went back to looking sad.
"Oh please don't cry Ari" He said. I didn't even know I was crying.
"Sorry, I was just so worried" I said and walked closer.
"I am so so sorry for what Ashton did" I said and sat down on the bed edge.
"Ari.." He started. He looked up at me and I really looked at his face. It was a mess, his whole face was really swollen and his hair was shaved off. "It was my own fault"
"Wait, what. No it's all Ashton" I said.
"No, he warned me. I was careful but right there and then I just had to finally kiss you. Even though Ashton was there" He said. I got goose bumps when he said that.
"What do you mean?"
"Well... you know the night we got home from our road trip?" I nodded. "When you walked in your room he told me that if I ever touched you in a way that's more than what friends would do then he would kill me. He said that you were his and that I was ruining things for him" I just remembered everything from that night. How Ashton eyed Luke when he opened the door before looking at me. How they exchanged a few words and how weird that was because it was more than a goodnight.
"Ari" I looked up at him and nodded.
"I'm so sorry Luke"
"No don't be" He opened his arms and I jumped closer and hugged him carefully.
"I really like you Ari, and Ashton will not stop my feelings for you" He whispered in my ear. I smiled.
I pulled away and looked at him.
"No one has ever said that to me, guys just leave when they meet Ashton"
"I'm not like any other guy then" He said and I smiled. Michael walked in.
"I wanted you to have some alone time but now I also want a hug from my best friend" Michael said and gave Luke a big hug. My phone started to vibrate and I looked at the display. 'Ashy'.
"You not going to pick up?" Luke asked and looked at the phone.
"No, he's a dick"
"Please don't let me be the reason to you two not getting along" Luke said, he sounded so hurt.
"We are getting along don't worry Luke" I said and put my hand on his.

Igot in Michaels mothers car and started to drive to mine and Ashton'sapartment. I could feel the anger in my body. Oh I am going to be so mad justby looking at him. Michael held my hand. He really is an amazing friend. I maybe a bitch but he keeps his smile and doesn't shout back.
We stopped. I got out and looked up at our windows.
"You ready?" I nodded and we walked upstairs. I wanted to walk. I didn't wantto get there fast. We got to our floor and I tried to open the door. Locked.Kill me now please. I knocked on the door and I started to hear movements. Thedoor opened. Calum. He smiled and hugged me. It's funny how they treat me likeI was the one almost beaten to death. I walked in and got my shoes off.
"He's in his room, he has been crying for hours"
"Why"
"Because you didn't pick up or answer his texts" I raised my eyebrows. "Yea Iknow. It's stupid. But don't scream at him." He said and I just nodded.
I slowly walked in to his room. He was laying on his bed, like a ball. Justcrying.
I walked up to him and sat down next to him. He flinched and the saw me. It waslike he didn't know what to do. He just looked at me for a few seconds.
"I am so so so sorry Ari" He said. His voice was weak and he sat up resting hisback against the wall.
"I'm not the one you should say sorry to Ashton" I said and he looked down onhis fingers.
"I'm so sorry Luke" He said and looked up at me. Couldn't help but smile a bit.He didn't smile back. I can't hate him. I should do but I can't.
"Listen Ashton, you can't be that protective of me" I said.
"I was just really jealous." I was right.
"It's still not okay"
"I know, but you know how I am. I fucking killed my own father, like what doyou expect from me" He said. I was in chock. I didn't know it was true. I kindof knew but at the same time, he never told me.
"Wait, why are you looking surprised. I did tell you didn't I?" He asked, hisvoice was more steady now. I slowly shook my head.
"Shit... Well I know you wouldn't tell the police but I really thought I toldyou" He said and looked at me.
"How did you do it? You were only like 16 years old" I said, I sat on his bedfacing him with my legs crossed.
"Well, you know he committed suicide, yea?" And I nodded. "He actually had adepression, and he did stop taking his happy pills before he committed suicide.So I saw my chance. The night he died I just walked up to him, with the gun andshot him right under his chin" He said. He actually didn't look proud at all, Ithought he would do.
"And yeah after I made sure the gun didn't have my DNA or whatever on it andthen I just put it in his hand and yea, screamed a bit and the called thepolice. I had to make it believable you know" He stopped talking. "So, yea. Mytemper isn't the best" He said after a few seconds of silence.
"I know"
"Will you move out now?" Ashton asked really quietly. I stayed quiet for a few secondsand then answered.
"No, look Ashton. I really love you but I don't see you as a boyfriend, I seeyou as my best friend, and I love you for being my best friend. I really don'twant you to be in love with me. I want you to love me like I love you, ok? Thefact that you actually killed your dad doesn't change anything, but the way youhave been behaving the past month is something that could change a lot" I said.He stayed quiet and just nodded. Calum knocked at the door and got in.
"Hi, uhm, do any of you want to go to the store?" He asked. What the hellCalum.
"Yea" Ashton said and stood up. "Let me wash myself and I'll drive"
Ashton walked in to the bathroom and cried. I just know that he cried more.
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