Tangerine

Chapter 29

Soundtrack: Tommy James & The Shondells - Crimson and Clover

Dedication: morgan (@themorganelizabeth) you'll understand why i've specifically dedicated this chapter to you once you read it, i've driven you mad to the point where we've all wanted to strangle the characters at some point but hopefully this will make up for it :) you'll always be one of my favourite readers and friends hands down, i love you x

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Is Scarlet Ryder actually dating that crackhead because I'm not surprised.

How is she on tour with the boys if she's fucked up... kids go to those concerts.

Scarlet is dating a crack addict why am I laughing.

And those were some of the nicer tweets.

Louis and I remain on his hotel bed, scrolling through his Twitter feed until we've both had enough. Basically, Samuel's addiction story got leaked. Or published, depending on how keen his management team was on making a few extra dollars at their client's expense. Either way, the press found out and quickly got a hold of the story. Now the entire world knows that Samuel Kitchen from The Radiants is in rehab for his cocaine addiction.

But to top it all off ‒ what makes me laugh most ‒ is that the One Direction fandom has decided to bring me in on this nonsense. All because of a couple of fan photos were posted from our fake date back at the end of March.

Just imagine if I actually went to lunch with him for the paps like Mitch had planned.

That would be a fucking riot.

Although I'm being made out to be a questionable person right now, I'm at least relieved that no journalists have picked up on the fandom's behaviour just yet. The press never cares if people get hurt as long as they get a story out of it. If they can create a headline and get it publicised, they're satisfied as long as people start talking. Whether that talk is good or bad, they really don't give a shit. They've done their job.

It's evidently happened with Samuel being exposed but I'm really not ready for that to happen to me. They say all press is good press but I am a real person underneath it all. To know people are talking about me and thinking about me at all hours of the day can get stressful enough in itself. Even if the majority of opinions on normal days aren't all that bad, it's still something that's always on my mind.

It's just happening so fast.

My life has been reduced to a series of photographs.

And at this stage, there's no going back.

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I sit cross-legged on the white linen sheets of the bed. A glass of red wine is in my hand and my vision is set upon the tiny droplets clinging to the clear rim from where I just took a sip.

"Careful not to spill," Louis hums mindlessly.

"It's not like you could afford the damages anyway," I smile to myself, swirling the dark liquid around in the glass.

It's become kind of a thing. Playing gigs until we can't hear anymore, savouring our days off like lucky stars, and Louis. Always Louis. So so so so much Louis. We're together more than we're not. And even when he needs time to himself, he invites me along.

I want to scream symphonies and vomit tears ‒ the happy kind. Louis makes me feel so lucid, so vibrant, I'm bursting at the seams and I can't even hide it anymore.