Tangerine

Chapter 26

Soundtrack: Tame Impala - Feels Like We Only Go Backwards

Dedication: (@anonymousgirll) you've been voting for tangerine for a while and i always see you in my notifications, thanks for following me and staying updated with this story, i really do appreciate it x

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The whole ignoring Harry thing didn't go exactly as planned.

As it turns out, Harry is much better at the silent treatment than I am. He got me to crack as soon as we met up in Paris. That's not to say he mentioned anything about his supposed girlfriend, however. He skimmed right past the topic as if it didn't even exist.

It's not like I confronted him about it, but there were definite implications.

If Harry wants to tell me what's going on, he can. I'm not going to waste my time rooting around in his business when it doesn't even involve me. I've got enough of Louis' business to root around in anyway, if you're picking up what I'm putting down.

Although I'm quite preoccupied with Louis Tomlinson and all his charm, there's still this constant thought nagging at the back of my mind that's always there no matter how hard I try to ignore it.

Why would Harry bring me to his room to kiss me if he had a girlfriend?

Did the relationship begin after the fact? Could it really be that recent? Would Harry actually ask a girl out within a month of knowing her?

Something just doesn't feel right.

It's weird. I've never really seen the lads flirt or be attached to girls in public other than myself. I can't tell if it's jealousy I'm feeling or like the world has suddenly opened up and I'm finally realising just how small I truly am.

Who am I to them? Who was I to feel like I was their only one? I'm stupid and selfish and way too empty to deserve any of what they gave me. I feel like an idiot.

But then I think of Louis, as I always do. And I can't help but smile.

That's the thing. My brain is all dark except for this bright light shining down with a little Louis sitting in the middle. He has saved me in more ways than one and if I feel like he won't again then I'm the most foolish person to ever exist.

"You okay, love?" Liam joins me in the hotel suite. "It's a bit quiet in here."

"Yeah, thanks," I continue to focus my attention outside the large scenery window, still drifting in my thoughts. My eyes scan over the centuries old buildings of Belgium, really taking in how different they are from anywhere in the UK. Everything here is different than what I'm used to, but in the most refreshing way possible.

It's day three of our European leg of the tour. We've already done two shows in France and are currently in Antwerp, Belgium for the day. Things seem to be going by so quickly lately but it's probably just because of our rigorous schedule and lack of time off.

"Are you sure you're good?" Liam joins me by the wide hotel window. "You seem a bit distant lately. Other than being on stage, where you're flawless as always. That's not to say you're not always a star, it's just-"

"Liam, you're really bad at this," I chuckle, cutting the lad off but also visibly calming him down.

"Sorry," he laughs nervously. "Maybe I can just ask what's up?"

"Yeah, it's- ...stupid," I finish pathetically.

"I bet it's not," Liam replies simply, looking at me with awaiting eyes.