Roses {S.M} (Completed)

13/Walk through fire

Trust

A simple word with a complex meaning.Trusting someone completely,means you're willing to let them guide you through fire and expect not to burn.Usually the worst betrayal comes from the ones we trust the most.As I stand infront of Shawn,there is one person I can't seem to trust.

Myself

Suddenly I felt nervous as his eyes watched me intensively.I cleared my throat-"So.."

"Just say whatever you have to say Alana.I'm done feeling like I'm walking on fucking eggshells while you're around.So just please,talk"

"Was it worth it?"-I asked-"Letting your jealousy tear us apart"

"I don't know"

I chuckled bitterly-"You don't know?"

"I don't know"-he repeated-"Was James worth it? Was letting me down for him worth it?"

"I wouldn't know"-I replied-"I never let you down for him. Not intentionally at least."

"So talking to him everyday ever since we broke up-"

"That's a lie"-I interrupted-"James lied.I've blocked his number months ago"-I walked towards him-"I'm sorry how things turned out between us"

Even though he was standing in front of me,I felt as if he wasn't here at all.Instead it was like he was thousands of miles away

"Yeah.I'm sorry too"

I took in a deep breath-"I didn't intend to hurt you"

"I know"

"You know that I never meant to hurt you"

"I know"-he says again-"That doesn't mean that you haven't.You tore me apart.But hey,maybe it's for the best"

"Best for who?"-I asked.Did he really believe that?

"You"-he replied after a few seconds-"You deserve much more than I can offer"

"What the hell are you saying? You are perfect for me"

"No I'm not Alana.Quit being so stubborn"

"Quit being such an ass"

He shook his head-"You deserve better."

"I don't want better.I want you!"

He looked somewhat surprised.But he recovered with a scoff-"Is that what you really want? Waking up to an empty bed,because I'll be on the other side of the world touring.Do you want to come back home after work to an empty house.We can't work Alana"

"We managed perfectly fine for 4 years"-I scoffed through gritted teeth

"That's because I thought we could! I was so in love with you,it was all it mattered to me.I didn't think just how terrible this is for the both of us."

"This relationship is the best thing that has ever happened to me.I don't regret a second of it.I thank the heavens everyday for sending you my way"

"I've been selfish because I love you so much.But I can't be selfish with you,not anymore.This has to end"

"That's not your decision to make Shawn.Stop pretending like you know what's best for me when you clearly don't.I regret the day that I let you leave my car and if I could take that back I wouldn't think a second.I shouldn't have ended things the way I did.You were mad and you had every right to be,but you didn't let me explain one thing"