A Family Of My Own

Truly, Madly, Deeply In Love With You

Chapter Twenty-Seven... Truly, Madly, Deeply In Love With You



Bailey was three weeks old today.


It was scary, it seemed like only yesterday that I'd given birth to my little piece of perfection.


Today I was shopping, because my baby boy had grown out of all of his size 0000 clothing, and was into size 000. And even though he'd been given so many clothes from people, he didn't have enough in his size .


I'd also brought Emily shopping with me.


"He smiled at me, Bec!" Emily exclaimed loudly, grinning broadly. "See, he loves his aunt Emmy, don't you Bailey boy? Yes, you do! It's cause I'm your favourite aunt, isn't it?"

"You know you're going to have to argue with Addy over that, Emmy," I chuckled. "She reckons that she's Bailey's favourite aunt, just like Ethan has dibs on best uncle."

"Has Addy been talking to you more now?" Emily questioned, turning away from Bailey in the pram to look at me intently. "I mean, she can't move around much yet but she's getting there, and she threw a tantrum at mom last night because she's so dependent at the moment... I just thought that maybe she'd decided to talk to people again."

"Em..." I sighed thoughtfully. "She's messed up a bit at the moment. She lost her boyfriend, she broke several bones, she had to have surgery... She's hurting, a lot. And she won't really talk to anyone. That's why mom's been sending her to the shrink the last few days, to get her to talk."

"I wonder what happened when Kyle's sister went to visit her that day..." Emily trailed off.

"I don't know, but whatever it was, it changed her," I frowned.


Grabbing several items of clothing, Emily and I finished up the shopping before getting a few groceries and heading back to my mom's house. We took some lunch back with us for mom, Addy and Lily, who were all home. Ethan and Zane were out with some friends, dad was in the city working, and the twins were at a birthday party. So for my mom's house, it was pretty quiet.


Until we walked in to hear the music blaring.


"Oh, god..." Emily gasped, barely audible. "Addy. Her punk music sucks."

"Is that what that is?" I asked, frowning. "It's terrible!"

"It's Addy's latest torment," Emily scowled. "She sulks in her room listening to it when she thinks that mom is being unreasonable. Mind you, mom can't force her out of her room even though she can't walk at the moment. She gets the cast off of her wrist next week, and her ankle. But the leg one has to stay for another two weeks after that. So mom will have to help her through the rehab to strengthen her ankle and wrist because she's gotta learn to us crutches even after the leg cast comes off. Apparently it was a pretty bad break, and she's gotta ease herself back into using it."

"Yeah, mom explained the whole rehab thing to me," I recalled. "Addy's stubborn, too. I hope mom can handle her."

"Lucky mom is just her support team, hey?" Emily grinned. "I'd hate to be the girl or guy that's stuck teaching her to walk again. I mean, kind of teaching her to walk."

"Ohh, yeah," I agreed with a small chuckle.


After taking Bailey into the kitchen, I left him in his capsule asleep while I went looking for mom. Emily went to wash her hands before lunch, and I wandered upstairs. As I reached the door outside Addy's room, I came to a stop. I heard the music stop just as I stopped too.


"Addison, please," mom spoke desperately. "Come on. It's lunch time. Becca and Emmy brought lunch back with them. We have to get you downstairs."


I knocked on the door, gently pushing it open.


"Go away," Addy groaned, throwing a pillow over her head.

"God, you've got an attitude," mom hissed, annoyed. "Be nice, Addy."

"It's okay, mom," I insisted, giving her a weak encouraging smile. "She'll eventually get over herself and come downstairs to see her nephew. Bailey wants a cuddle from his favourite aunt, you know."

"Sure he does," Addy growled. "Did he tell you that, Becca? Because the last time I looked, three week old babies don't speak. He doesn't even have teeth yet."

"He doesn't need to, Addy, I know what he needs," I snarled. "I'm his mother. That's how it works."

"You spend more time here than you do at home, Becca," Addy spat, pulling the pillow from over her head. "I think mom is raising Bailey, not you. He knows her more than you I bet. Mom has raised her kids, Bec. She doesn't need to be raising yours too."


Mom had clearly had enough of her attitude. She silently walked out of the room, and I followed behind her to shut the door. I needed to talk to Addy alone, and I only hoped that she would talk to me this time. Talk, and not be a bitch about it.


"What are you doing?" She asked curiously.

"You are going to tell me everything that is running through your head now, or I'm telling mom to go back to work and to put you into a rehabilitation centre," I said firmly. "Your choice, Addison."

"I'm not in the mood to talk," she hissed.

"Rehab centre it is then," I said sharply, turning for the door.

"Wait," Addy said, and I turned back to her.

"For what?" I questioned.

"He's always on my mind," she said sadly, so quietly I barely heard her. Tears welled in her eyes... Was Addy finally opening up?

"Who? Kyle?" I asked.

"Yeah," she whispered back. "I didn't realise how much I loved him until he was gone, you know."

"No, because you never talked about him, Addy. You just completely shut yourself down about him. About a lot of things. And we're all worried about you."

"Mom would never understand..."

"Understand what?"

"Why I would have said yes to him."

"Yes to him for what, Addy?"

"He had a ring... He'd written a speech... He sold his play station. And he did all of those things for me."

"Addy... Was Kyle going to ask you to marry him?"

"Shaelee found the ring in amongst all of his belongings from the hospital. Personal artefacts, you know. The ring was in his wallet. His mom never saw it, but Shaelee did. She saw it, and she knew. So she searched his entire room until she found the letter. He wants to spend the rest of his life with me, Becca. Nobody would have ever thought of him being like that, least of all me."


I was stunned. I never really knew Kyle, but I'd never expected this from him. And clearly, neither had Addy.


"Wow..." Was all I could say.

"When Shaelee handed me the letter, and I read it, I didn't know what to think," Addy admitted. "I loved Kyle, so much. But I never knew how much he loved me back. And it took me a lot to be able to show how I really felt about him after the accident. That afternoon... It changed everything. And I suddenly felt like I'd been cheated, because he'd been snatched from me."

"Addy, he died because his first instinct when he was about to crash was to protect you. And he did. It could have just as easily been you that died that day."

"I feel guilty, Becca. He died. I lived. And he'd planned to make me a part of his future. Would we have had kids? You know we discussed it? Kind of, anyway. When Alecia was first pregnant. It suddenly occurred to me that it could have just as easily been me that was pregnant, too."

"But you weren't."

"No. And I'm glad. I wouldn't make a good mother, not until I'm older anyway."

"Mom was worried you were going to come home pregnant you know," I informed her, giggling a little. "I must admit, when I heard a rumour that you were, I believed it. Even after you said that you weren't. I didn't know whether you were lying to me or not."

"I was telling you the truth, Becca. You only really believed me when you realised I was covering for Alecia, didn't you?"

"Yes."

"It's okay. I made people not trust me, or respect me. I know that Kyle was bad for me, but when I read the letter, it also occurred to me that he was willing to change who he was, for me."

"Where is the letter?" I asked curiously.


Addy handed me a piece of paper that had been stuffed down her arm cast. It would have been itchy there, I would've thought. But. I suppose casts are itchy anyway, so it probably didn't bother her.


As I opened up the letter, a ring fell out. Reading the letter, I was even more shocked than I had been. Addy was stewing over that she never got to see this side of Kyle for herself. I knew that now. I knew that she felt guilty about him never getting to show who he could be to her, and I think there was something else deep down there she was feeling guilty about, but I couldn't pinpoint it.


"He really loved you," I noted.

"More than I loved him," she said softly, hanging her head as if she was ashamed to think that. And there was my answer.


Addy didn't love Kyle enough.


"Would you have said yes to him?" I questioned.

"I would have said yes... But for all the wrong reasons," she admitted guiltily. "I always said I'd be with Kyle forever, but it occurred to me, after the shock of losing him had finally hit me, that marrying him wouldn't have been fair on him. It wasn't that I didn't love him, because I did. It was that I loved him for being a bad boy... Because I knew that mom would never accept him. And a part of me didn't want her to."

"Mom would have found a way to accept him, Addy."

"I know. But I loved the thrill. The thrill of doing something that really pissed my parents off. That was why I was attracted to Kyle of all people. He was everything that screamed out 'rebel'. He was the one thing that made me feel free."

"Why did you need to feel free?" I didn't understand that. I'd never needed to feel that rush, I guess.

"I'm a diabetic. Insulin is a part of my life, and I hate it. It makes me feel more restricted than I actually am, mainly because I just don't seem to feel happy unless I'm doing something crazy and wild. But this accident... It's kind of made me see that freedom is a really bad thing, and that being who I am is more important than pushing the boundaries of life. I almost died, and that terrifies me. I guess I just needed to be restricted by myself to feel... Well, normal."


Addy had opened up a lot. I hadn't expected some of the revelations she'd made. She was usually so secretive about her feelings, but here she'd just spilled them all out to me, finally showing me who she really is, and what she really thinks of things. It had been a long time since I'd seen Addy be truly happy. And she'd finally admitted to herself that Kyle didn't make her happy, he just made her satisfied with her own self-destruction.


After finishing talking to Addy, I left mom and her alone, and ten minutes later Addy was downstairs, and she was even smiling! I couldn't believe it. It was almost as if she was dying for someone to demand that she tell them everything, and apparently the shrink wasn't the answer.


"I have no idea what you said to her, or how you did it, but even her shrink couldn't get anything out of her," mom beamed. "Bec, you've really got a way with people, you know. You'd make a brilliant doctor, you know. You have a lot of patience, and you persevere with people. I couldn't be more proud of you."

"For now I'm just going to stick to being Bailey's mother, and if I ever decide I want a career, I will take your advice," I chuckled. "But hopefully now Addy might be on the road to mental recovery, not just physical."

"Hopefully," mom smiled. "Thank you."

"Hey, you promised me a cuddle from Bailey," Addy interrupted from her wheelchair. "His favourite aunt Addy is waiting for cuddles, you know."

"Aunt Emmy is the favourite, aren't I Bailey?" Emily crooned, walking around the kitchen with Bailey in her arms. "You don't want aunty Addy, do you? Nah!"

"Emily, you've gotta share Bailey," mom laughed. "He loves you both equally."

"Exactly, cause aunt Lily is clearly his favorite," Lily grinned, walking over to Emily and taking Bailey from her.

"No way!" Emily groaned, following Lily as she walked off with Bailey.

"Lil, give him to Addy please," I asked her politely. "He loves all of his crazy aunts the same. And why wouldn't he? He's got his brave Aunt Addy, his sweet Aunt Lily, his smart Aunt Emmy, and his identicals, Aunt Livi and Aunt Bella. He's a very lucky little boy, you know. Plus he's got Aunt Leesh, Aunt Rissa... Then also Uncle Eth, Uncle Zed, and Uncle Nick. Oh, and Uncle Jase, who of course is Larissa's future husband."

"Aww, Bec, that was so sweet," Lily whispered, handing Bailey to Addy.

"Yeah," Addy agreed, kissing Bailey's forehead.

"And he's also got the best grandparents in the world," I grinned, nudging mom softly. She laughed.

"That he does," mom said, agreeing with me as she walked over to where Addy sat on the lounge. "He has the best family in the world. And nothing can ever change that. We love him so much, Bec, and we love you and Noah. And we are so happy that you guys have made this beautiful piece of perfection."


Mom's words said it all. She was in love with her baby grandson.



I couldn't be happier.


***



That night, as I put Bailey down into his bed, I hummed him a little lullaby. He was already asleep, but the lullaby made me feel so happy and complete. I loved my little boy so much, words couldn't even begin to describe it. Noah walked up behind me, grinning.


"We can make another piece of perfection just like that when he's a bit older," he said, kissing my neck.

"I thought I wanted to wait until he was at least eighteen months old to try, but I'm thinking when he's six months old, so that there's not a massive age gap between them," I said before turning to face Noah.

"You know, I couldn't agree more," he whispered, and our lips met.

"We aren't having sex tonight," I said firmly when we parted. "They say you're supposed to wait until six weeks after the baby's born before that, because apparently you have a higher chance of getting pregnant."

"Did your mom tell you that?" He asked with a small chuckle.

"I don't discuss my sex life with my mother," I assured him. "No, it's something that I've read. I mean, we could, but it means condoms and let's face it, we both hate them."

"So we've gotta wait until you go back on the pill in a few weeks then?" He frowned.

"Either that, or condoms," I giggled.

"Hmmmm..." He said thoughtfully. "I think we can handle the condoms for a few weeks, yeah?"

"Only if you've got one stashed somewhere," I laughed, falling backwards down onto the bed.

"I have a few," he smiled softly. "I bought them after Bailey was born, when your dad told me that if I wanted sex before you went back on the pill, I'd need them."

"Okay, I didn't need to know that," I screwed my face up.

"I love you so much, Becca," Noah whispered softly, laying next to me on the bed. "I am deeply, madly, truly, crazily... In love with everything about you."


Noah was my one true love, and I was truly, madly and deeply in love with him too.



And I was excited for our future.