◈ Magnus X Alec One Shots ◈ Malec ◈

The Quiet

A/N Ha! If you were expecting happy then you were wrong!!! Here's another breakup!

I watched him flutter across the room, back and forth, back and forth. Alec had never been one for shouting or arguing for that matter, this was new to him. It no longer felt new to me. After thousands of lovers and only just fewer relationships, fights were inevitable. Alec did not seem to agree with that statement. Arguments meant a relationship was failing. His first relationship was failing. He was naive. But, that didn't change a thing. Alec was panicking. He didn't want this to fail; he didn't want us to fail. But, it was me in the wrong, it was me that he had to choose to forgive and somehow, it was almost clear from the beginning that he was in no place to forgive me. This was going to break us.

It was like there was a gaping hole between us, sucking us together but driving us apart. We wanted this, us, to work but he couldn't help but back away at the first sign of danger. He had built his morals upon the protection of his family- he had never brought a relationship into the equation. And, now that it was, everything seemed to change for him. The growing distance from his family was tearing him apart but any distance from me seemed to break him down further. I told him a little distance in a relationship can be good- he took it the wrong way. Although, that was only the start. More and more comments were made and each and every time, he drew away another step. Each comment got me deeper in this mess and now look where we are, he had finally given up. We were on the verge of a breakup with neither of us willing to speak, just because I did one petty thing. I told him I was more important than his family. I didn't mean it, it just came out. I wanted him back, he had been gone so long. Now, I had nothing to say. He, on the other hand, had much- it appeared he didn't know what to start with. His eyebrows were furrowed in concentration as he contemplated what he was about to say. How he was going to do this. I was already ready, it didn't matter. It did matter to him, though. This was his first breakup and he didn't want a messy one, I knew that. He wasn't confident in these things and he didn't want to mess this up.

But I stopped caring about what he was thinking long ago. I wanted something else, something different. The silence, as it continued on, began to drain my life force away. I wanted him to punch, cry and scream- our blood spilling...because this silence was f*cking me up. Worse than it ever had before. It seems the more you love someone, the more it hurts- such an obvious statement but one I had forgotten over the centuries. I had lost the feeling of love so each tear in a relationship was only as bad as the one before. Now, I was in love, and it was ending.

'I can't do this Magnus.'

'I know.'

Silence fell. Each forgotten word a stab at my heart. The separation, the time and space between us, felt infinite. It was as if our timelines were out of place and the gap between us was miles and not metres. Maybe we were out of sync. I was hundreds of years after all- Alec was only young, even in human terms.

Still, I waited. Waited for him to have a revelation. For his eyes to open and for everything to become clear. He knew what he would have to say and he would say it. He wouldn't just mumble under his breath that he couldn't do this before letting silence fall upon us once again- he didn't even care to discuss it.

I'd rather have been black and blue, bruises scattered across my body than watch him pace across that room- back and forth, back and forth. I didn't want to see him withdraw, I wanted to see him fight- for me, against me, with me. I didn't care. I just wanted the silence to end.

Just tell me, say anything, I begged silently in my head as his eyes remained glued to the floor, not even glancing at me to reveal the agonised expression passed upon my face. I was almost glad- it would only make this slower if he knew this was hurting me. But, I just wished he had said something. Anything hurts less than quiet.

We used to give each other our world. We were everything to each other and now...now he didn't even look at me. He didn't speak to me. He just stared at the ground. It was as if the rotting wooden panels were more important than the man he loved. Maybe, at that point, they were.

We had been each other's rocks, we relied on each other and I think, somewhere during the deafening quiet, he had realised that. He had realised that he had lost it. When it all went to sh*t, when this all went sh*t, he realised that he had nothing to rely on anymore. His family relied on him. Now, without me there, he might just fall.

He didn't seem to care. He didn't put his feelings or my feelings into account, only my stupid words, ones that he had never told me had meant anything to him. Now I'm left here in the dust, nothing left but broken trust.

I didn't want to walk away from him. I truly didn't. But, he left me no choice. So, with my footsteps echoing against the floor, I left him, locking myself in my own bedroom, ignoring his muffled pleas for me to leave...and I let myself cry.

When the muffled voices left, I cried harder. I wished for the broken bones again, for blues and purples to cover my skin but when I looked down, I found nothing but tan skin. He had left and I was alone again.

At least, somewhere along the journey afterwards, I realised, I didn't care that you were wrong to leave me or that I was right to leave, I didn't want to be gone. I wanted you back. So, when I looked out of the window in my home in Paris ten years later, I decided I wanted to find him and even if he had moved on- I was going to find him...and I was going to love him again.

word count: 1103

published: 16.05.17