M.U.S.E. (BOOK 1) (COMPLETE)

M.U.S.E Chapter 22

I caught my reflection in the bathroom mirror and I looked awful. I turned the shower on and stood in it. My head stung with the shower water so I washed the main parts of my hair and not the scalp where the stitches were.

My boobs were so big and heavy that I could take someone's eye out with them if I weren't careful. My stomach was like a empty nap sack and I dare not look between my legs. I was no longer bleeding but I was ruined down there!

I started to cry and after a few minutes I thought 'get a grip' and walked out of the bathroom determined to be normal.

"She is asleep," John said as I found him changing the baby. "He would be too except he hates a dirty nappy."

I smiled and went to the wardrobe to find some clothes.

"Are you ok?" he asked.

I nodded and pulled out some fresh PJ's. It was still unsociable hours to be awake so I was going back to bed.

"Do you want to cuddle up in bed when I'm finished being daddy?" he asked as I watched him trying to put the poppers together on the body suit and getting annoyed.

"You don't have to," I said still feeling ugly and broken.

"Is Mummy refusing Daddy's cuddles and kisses?" he asked the baby. "You love Daddy's kisses and cuddled, don't you Charlie," he said kissing the baby's mouth and cuddling him.

"Charlie," I asked.

"Yeah, you said I could name him so I did," he replied as Charlie tried to suck his daddies lips like a boob full of milk.

I smiled at the pair of them adorable as hell. John picked up the bottle and gave him a few ounces as I got changed and into bed.

By the time John settled Charlie I was ready for a snuggle and my eye lids were dropping. John hurried into bed before the kids woke again and snuggled up to me smothering me in ticklish kisses to make me laugh.

"How are you feeling really?" he asked as he held the hair away from my face and looked at me.

"I'm ok. Had few moments of fat and ugly back there but I am ok now," I admitted.

"Hey, how dare you slag off my beautiful wife," he said making me laugh. "I'm serious. You are beautiful. Wonderful. Amazing. Look what you just did with Aimee. She hasn't spoken before. Won't eat or drink. One look at you beautiful face and she is back to 'brat'."

"I bet you're glad you didn't shoot me now," I said and giggled.

"That's not funny," he said and all humour was lost in his expression.

I felt like a scolded child as he stared at me intensely. I gave him a half apologetic look and rolled over on my side away from him. He was mad at me. I didn't want to see that look in his eyes.

The baby let out a snuffled cry and John was out of the bed in seconds. He pushed the dummy back in his mouth and patted the baby gently until he settled again. I knew that move. That was 'mina' she was very clear on not picking him up every time he cried and once settled for the night do not pick up unless feeding and do not talk to him during night feed. It is sleep time and he will get into a routine... I remembered it all as my eyes began to drop and sleep drew me in.

"I'm sorry," John said as knelt in front of me and stroked my hair back out of my eyes.

"What?" I asked half asleep.

"I said I am sorry," he repeated.

"For what? You haven't done anything," I replied.

"For intending to shoot you. I'm all kinds of bad and I am sorry for everything that has brought to you and our children," he said.