M.U.S.E. (BOOK 1) (COMPLETE)

M.U.S.E Chapter 17

I woke to an empty room and the desperate need for a wee and pain killers. I struggled out of bed trying not to cry out in pain as I walked like a cowboy to the toilet. I forgot to tape my mouth and as soon as I started to wee the pain and stinging was so bad a sort of half scream, half agonising moan came out of my mouth.

I heard feet running.

"Cara?" John said at the bathroom door.

"I'm ok," I said as I sucked in breath to stop from crying out.

"Open the door," he said.

"No leave me alone," I said as I tried to clean myself up and change my sanitary towel the doctor had kindly grabbed for me on his way over.

"Cara open the door," he said annoyed.

"I am doing womens things. Go away," I snapped.

"You are hurt. I heard you cry out," he said.

"Yes I have stitches and needed a wee. Now please just go away," I said an burst into tears.

"Cara," the doctors voice called out.

"I'm ok doctor," I said.

"Can I just pop in and check?" he asked.

"No thank you," I replied trying to sound convincingly well.

"Ok, we will go. See you in a few minutes," he said.

"Thank you," I relied. "Can you fetch me some pain killers please?" I asked.

"Sure thing, I will leave them on the side," he replied.

A short while later I had composed myself, cleaned myself up and ventured tentatively back to bed. I lay down, breathless from the strain of walking. It reminded me of when Aimee was born and wanted feeding, I was so tired and hungry myself that I hardly had any breast milk to feed her. She gave out merry hell the first few days until I remembered to drink plenty and ensure she got the goodness from the food I ate. As soon as I was back on my feet and eating she settled into a routine. From then on she was the perfect baby girl. Just wonderful.

I pulled out the picture I had of her and lay on my side cuddled up to a pillow crying silently for my little girl as I wished with all my heart she was here. I would even trade the baby I just had for her in a second and that was horrible thought.

The door knocked and in walked the housekeeper with the baby.

"Congratulations," she said beaming from ear to ear. Her French accent very strong.

"Thank you," I said and sat up.

"He is hungry," she said as the baby whined a little.

I tried to get myself settled and the pillows in place. She placed the baby on the bed safely before helping me.

"Slow," she said using facial expression to communicate more effectively. "Here," she said moving the pillows. "I help," she said. I nodded. She had a lot of children, she had shown me pictures so who better to take advice from.

I was comfortable, taken my pain killers and I followed her instructions as she helped me latch him on. I though he was ok, she shook her head, "No, more," she said and the poor thing was lost under a boob as she said "Fill, not nipple, all. See, swallow not suck," she said and I looked to see his fragile tiny chin chomping away. "Sucking make baby tired but not full. Let him fill his belly by lying like that," she said. "You feed him, I feed you." She left the room and returned several minutes later with a plate of food. "I will help," she said taking the baby and winding him as she nodded for me to take the food and drink.