Densi Forever

Back in an Instant

Kensi's POV

I sit with my head in my hands, listening to his steady breath. I don't know how much more of this I can take. I hear what I assume is the nurse come in to check on him but I don't look up. I just can't do it right now.

"H-Hey," I hear a shaky voice say. I look up to see Eric, tablet in hand, with Nell standing to his right. I sniffle and stand up, adjusting my shirt. "Hey," I say, clearing my throat. "What's up?"

"Nothing, we just-just wanted to come visit," Nell says, never taking her eyes off of Deeks' unmoving body. I notice Eric hasn't stopped staring either. "You ok?" I ask him. He looks paler than usual. "Ya, just, you know, seeing it in person makes it feel so real. I just wanted it to- I don't know, to not be real," he whispers, his voice cracking, eyes still centered on the body in the room.

Nell smiles at him reassuringly and he smiles back weakly. They look so scared. "We were just about to go out to grab something to eat and were wondering if you would wanna come?" Nell asks, turning to face me. I hear the hope in her voice but I know I can't leave. I slowly shake my head and watch her smile dissappear as her eyes drop to the ground. "No, I'm sorry guys, I just don't think I can leave yet," I say, glancing back at Deeks. "Kens, come on, this isn't healthy. You haven't eaten in days. Please, just come with us," Eric protests.

I look back at Deeks and shake my head sadly. I just can't leave him.

They say their goodbye's and are out in a minute. I walk back to my seat slowly and put my head in my hands again. I start to drift off to sleep thinking about nothing; about everything.

I imagine what life would be like with no Deeks. With Deeks if he were gay. With Deeks if he were married. With Deeks if I were married. With Deeks if we were married. But that's the craziest one. Because it's the one I really want to happen.

I'm letting my mind run so frantically with these abstract thoughts that I almost don't hear the moan escape the lips of none other than the man causing all of these problems. It's a small moan, but it means a world and a half.

My ears perk up and I quickly sit up. "What? Deeks? Deeks are you there?" I ask excitedly. He moans again and I grab his hand and squeeze it tightly, tears coming to my eyes. I wipe them away with my free hand.

He moves his lips and I bring my head down closer to his chest so I can hear him better. "What?" I ask. "K-K-K-Kens-s-s-s-si," he mumbles, his mouth stumbling over the letters. "Yes. Yes Deeks, I'm here. I'm not going anywhere," I say, feeling a tear roll down my face.

I yell out the door and the nurse and doctor come rushing in. I hold Deeks' hand as they listen to his muttering, getting him to repeat himself. I feel him squeeze my hand a few times.

The doctor looks over and tells me, "He should be waking up fully in the next couple of minutes. His memory might be a little foggy, but he should be fine. I'll leave you two alone as I contact the other members of your team. Congratulations, Special Agent Blye." He then hurries out of the room with the nurse right behind him.

My heart skips a beat when he says that.

I sit next to Deeks, staring at him, wondering what's going on in his mind. Wondering how much longer it will be. Wondering what battle he's fighting. But mostly just wondering when I'll get my Deeks back.

His eyelids start fluttering after a minute, and my heartbeat quickens.

And then, in an instant, his eyes are open and he gazes at the world above him in awe.

I watch as his eyes adjust to the lighting, as he frantically scans the room for something, anything familiar. Then his eyes land on me. "Kensi," he breathes, his voice weak, and my heart melts. "Kensi, you're here."

"Of course I am. I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere," I say, staring right into his eyes. "Thank you," he whipers. I blink back tears as I nod my head and smile at him.

I feel people coming in behind me and I turn to look at them. I see Callen and Sam and smile at them. They both look shocked.

"Hey," Deeks says as he sits up. "Hey, I had to come see for myself. Walking miracle," Sam says. Deeks chuckles. "It's good to see you too. How long was I out?" he asks, looking around at us. "About month and a half," Callen says. Deeks looks at all of us, smiling. "Yeah right, how long has it really been?" When none of us respond the smile drops from his face. "Really?" he whipers, looking right at me, staring into my eyes.

"Could you give us a minute?" he asks, still staring at me. I hear Callen and Sam shuffle out of the room muttering something about not being too long and catching up, and then the door shuts behind them and it's just us again. "So...." I say, trying to ignore his stare.

'Kens, I'm so sorry. I'm so, so sorry," he says, his eyes full of shock and sadness. I nod and feel a tear slip down my cheek.

"You're never going to be alone for so long again. I promise. I'm not going anywhere," he says.

I look into his beautiful pale blue-grey eyes and I know it's true.

And I'm so glad I don't have to go through that ever again. Because withour Deeks, life just isn't worth living.

And it's just not worth being here without him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~AUTHOR'S NOTE~~~~~~~~~~~~

HEY! SORRY IT'S TAKEN SO LONG TO UPDATE, I'VE JUST BEEN AT A LOSS FOR IDEAS.

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