Densi Forever

The Right to Die

Deeks POV

I stand there, holding onto her, as tight as I can. I can feel her crying into my shirt, out of shock or happiness I don't know. I just hold on to her, never wanting to leave her. It feels like it's been an eternity and yet it's only been an instant.

I feel her breathing slow down. Kensi doesn't cry long. That's one of the things I love about her. I can feel her slowing down, calming down, drying her tears against my dirty jacket. I should've cleaned up before I came to see her, I knew it, but I just couldn't wait. I need to shave badly and my clothes haven't been washed in like 2 weeks.

She finally pulls back and looks at me. She stands there for what feels like forever, hands on my shoulders, just examining me. She finally opens her mouth and I suck in a breath expectantly. I have no idea what she's gonna say, if she's gonna punch me or kiss me again.

"Deeks, you look like shit," she says, her eyebrows knitting together. I stand there, momentarily shocked, until I start to laugh. I was expecting a dramatic reaction, and that's what I got. Of course. I should've known. There's no predicting what Kensi Blye will do. Ever.

That's a theory I have.

"Thanks, Kens," I say through my laugh. I finally calm down and she grins at me, weakly. "So, you wanna tell me what the hell is going on?" she asks, her face becoming scarily serious. She looks pissed. That I expected.

"I, um, well, where do I start? I was exposed to radiactive decay I guess. It made me get sick and my blood thin and my heart stop and all these bad things that keep on happening," I say. She looks at me, her eyebrows knitted together.

"Umm, wow. How were you exposed? Was it by accident or...." she slowly trails off as I shake my head slowly, not breaking eye contact. "It was on purpose." She states shakily. I nod my head. "Who?" She asks, her voice breaking as she swallows.

"We don't know. They think it was released at my apartment when I was there alone," I answer nervously. "But you're all better now, right?" She asks, her eyes hopeful. Her hope begins to fade in her eyes the longer I don't answer. I just stand there, staring at her. "Right?" She asks, her smile struggling to stay on her face.

"No, Kens, I'm sorry. I'm still sick, getting worse actually. I just wanted to see you before, you know..." I answer, fading off. She puts her hands on top of her head and turns away from me, pacing back and froth between me and the wall.

"This is not happening. This doesn't get to happen. I finally find out that you're alive, I finally admit how I feel about you, you don't get to die. This is the part where we get to live happily with nothing going wrong. We'll fight and laugh and get jealous and be normal. We'll be as normal as we can be even though we're the least normal people on this planet. We'll tell people that we're dating or whatever it is we're doing and they'll be happy for us and we'll be happy together so you don't get to do this. You don't get to die," she says, a tear streaming down her cheek.

"Oh Kens," I mutter, staring into her eyes, and she leans into me. I hold her tight as she grasps at my jacket.

Suddenly, I hear the squeaky door burst open and I whip around, holding Kensi behind me with one hand and drawing my weapon with the other. I hear the person footsteps shuffling down the hall and see them come around the corner. I raise my gun only to see that it's Callen.

"Callen, what are you doing here?" I ask, letting Kensi out of my grasp so she can stand next to me. "I think the more appropriate question is what the hell are you doing here? You were supposed to stay away from her," he says, immediately getting in my face.

"Woah, woah, take it easy," Kensi says, managing to get her hands into the small amount of space between us and pushing us both back. "You knew I wasn't going to be able to do it. You knew I would go to her eventually," I say, looking for mercy in his eyes.

"Yes, Deeks, but I had just hoped that you had cared enough about her that you could stay away to prevent her from getting hurt again!" He yells. I look down, ashamed, and know he's right. She's gonna be crushed.

"You made a big mistake. Luckily for you, Nell found a hospital that may be able to treat you. But it's a long shot," he says, still steaming from anger. I hear Kensi breathe a sigh of relief next to me and I reach over and pull her to me, hugging her again. She wraps her arms around me and I put my chin on top of her head and she presses her face into my chest, breathing steadily.

"I'm gonna be ok," I say to myself, staring into space. I can't believe it. I'm just......I'm gonna be ok.

"Ya," Kensi says, relief and renewed strength in her voice. "You're gonna be ok."

And for the first time in a long time, I believe it.

*************AUTHOR'S NOTE******************

Hey! Sorry it took so long for me to write this chapter I got a concussion in basketball and wasn't allowed on the computer or any electronics for 2 weeks! At least it was while NCIS:LA was on break though!

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